People Are Really Upset About Blue Ivy's Hair

Today is one of those days when I'd like to quit the Internet and go live in the woods. Why? Because a Change.org petition asking Beyonce and Jay Z to comb Blue Ivy's hair is a thing that exists. And the petition currently has ten signatures. There are ten human beings who think that a celebrity child's hair care is their business. Sure, ten isn't a huge number. But it's ten too many. Can we leave the worrying about Blue Ivy's hair to her parents? Is that such a radical concept?

According to Yesha Callahan at Root, photos surfaced on Monday of Jay Z holding Blue Ivy as the family returned to New York City from a vacation in the Hamptons. In the photos, Blue Ivy's hair looked a little frazzled. Um, so what? Don't know about you, but my beauty routine always takes awhile to recover post-getaway. Hell, I returned from a vacation like three days ago and my hair still looks like a play pen for a small family of rats. Oh, and I'm not a toddler who runs around all day. So.

But the Internet wants Blue Ivy's hair to be flawless at all times. She is Beyonce's daughter, is she not? Any offspring of Beyonce's should pop out of the womb looking like one of the backup dancers from the "Single Ladies" video. Of course, the online dissenters making this issue seem like a matter of concern for Blue Ivy's well-being, but I call bullshit. If Blue Ivy was a boy, no one would be petitioning for his parents to comb his hair.

Here's the description of The Cause on the Change.org page:

As a woman who understands the importance of hair care. It's disturbing to watch a child suffering from the lack of hair moisture. The parents of Blue Ivy. Sean Carter A.K.A Jay-Z and Beyoncé has failed at numerous attempts of doing Blue Ivy Hair. This matter has escalated to the child developing matted dreads and lint balls. Please let's get the word out to properly care for Blue Ivy hair.

Please let us get the word out about this tremendously important issue. World peace depends upon combing Blue Ivy's hair. God forbid a black child be allowed to leave her hair natural. WHAT A CRIME. Forget neglect or abuse, "lack of hair moisture" is the childhood travesty we need to stop, now. I now completely understand why celebrities are so adamantly against publications featuring unapproved photos of their children. The scrutiny must drive them insane. As Callahan from Root puts it:

"There were also comments about how Beyoncé and Jay Z always leave the house looking like a million bucks, but what about Blue Ivy? So would people be happy if Beyoncé threw a weave or flatiron through Blue Ivy’s hair? Or how about a million beads and braids? Then you’ll have the natural-hair commanders complaining about how much damage that can cause to her hairline. Basically, if you’re Beyoncé and Jay Z, you’re damned if you do Blue Ivy’s hair, and you’re damned if you don’t."

I have an idea! How about we stop picking apart the appearance of a little girl — emphasis on girl since this is just more evidence of how much importance we place on female beauty — and stop judging the parenting of famous people we know nothing about. Just because you've been listening to Beyonce since her Destiny's Child days doesn't mean you can have an opinion about her (or Jay Z's) ability to care for a child.

Image: beyonce/Instagram