Do You Know What The Name Mallory Means?

Is your name Mallory? Is your name not Mallory, and you want to understand this odd name? As someone who has spent her entire life with it, I can tell you, that there are perks and merits, but there are things you should definitely know about the name Mallory. And hey, if we're name-sisters, I love you already.

You see, when I was a kid, I faced a lot of trouble with my name. Back in the nascency of the Internet, we all had to practice going on Yahoo and Dogpile and Altavista and other now-defunct search engines. In class one day, we were told to find the meanings of our names and to report them to the class. Girls came back saying things like, "My name means friend!" "I'm a lioness!" "I'm a feather in the wind on a field of justice!"

Mine? "Bad luck or misfortune."

My tone was so matter-of-fact, and I was so deadpan, that my teacher didn't know how to react. "It can't be," she said.

"No, it does," I said, and pointed to my Lycos.com research. It was inarguable: Mallory means bad luck or misfortune. The root 'Mal' means bad in every language — 'mal,' also my nickname, is a prefix for the nefarious. Maleficent has made 'Mal' cool again, but for awhile, there were struggles (particularly since my last name means 'castle on a mountain.' 'Bad luck on a castle on a mountain?' Just call me the Brothers Grimm, why don't you.)

Fortunately, this is how comedy is born. Does your name also mean bad luck? Don't worry! You're not sworn to a life of misery! In fact, consider yourself lucky to be graced with such a name. But you should know a few things about the name Mallory first.

Yeah, Your Name Means 'Bad Luck,' But...

You also have a middle name! Mine's "Renee" which means rebirth. Bad luck born again! (Hopefully your middle name means "JK JK JK.")

Mallory is an English Surname, But It's also Norman French

You're so European.

You Can Create The Most Badass Nicknames

Maleficent? Anyone? When your name begins with "Mal," you're basically born a bad ass.

It's Not Easy To Score A Souvenir, But...

Cafepress and custom made gifts are there to hold your hand. And when you find something that actually has your name on it, it's like a miracle.

you can play "Have Starbucks guess how to spell my name"

And

Once a barista even wrote "Malarii," so I knew that meant that I was a tropical princess for the day.

It's fun and easy to feel retro and nostalgic!

Like — hello, Mallory Keaton from Family Ties and Mallory from The Babysitter's Club.

Mallory Archer also shares your name, and she's awesome

Cartoon Mals have it goin' on.

You Have A Theme Song. Just take this song and turn it into "Mallory"

In German, your name means "war counselor."

You're a strong lady! Go kick some ass.

Apparently, you're also deep

Mallorys apparently have a need for inner quiet and peace. According to numerology, "Mallory" is a 6. Sixes represent "responsibility, protection, nurturing, community, balance, and sympathy." 'Mallory' also has a 'soul urge' number of 7, which means that us Mallorys are fond of reading and retreating — essentially being alone at times. We're capable of finding deep truths, harmony, and balance. However, we're also prone to worrying. (You would too, if your name meant bad luck.)

You're Unique

Mallory reached its peak in the '90s, for every one million babies, there were only 411 Mallorys. You are a special flower, indeed, Miss Mallory (or Mallorie/Mallori/Malory).

You're A Lustworthy Siren, And Everyone Wants You

According to Urban Dictionary, you're a bitch, but everyone wants you:

Inexplicable. Describes a woman who is mean, bitchy, rude, and stuck up, yet beautiful, caring, funny, and loveable, all at the same time. She is an object of desire, lust, and adoration by all men (and even some women), and that of envy, jealousy, and hate by most women. She is amazing, in all aspects of the word.

"Wow, that bitch was mean as hell. I want her. She's such a fucking Mallory. I have to get her number!"

you shouldn't be afraid of bad luck

If you're a lusty siren and your name means "bad luck," — that is the French and Latin definition, after all — then bring it on, bad luck. You're a warrior (according to your German definition) — so you can handle any shit life throws your way. You're a strong lady. You're many things....even if Starbucks can never spell your name correctly. Hell, you're a million and one Starbucks spellings.

Mount Everest's Most Famous Climber's Last Name Was "Mallory..."

Bring it on, mother nature. Seriously. You're a mountain climber. Consider that your ultimate metaphor, woman.

Image: Zazzle; Giphy; Giphy; Giphy; Giphy; Cafepress; Own photos; Giphy; Giphy; Giphy; Giphy; Giphy; Giphy; Giphy; John Noel/Timesonline