Entertainment

There's No Way You Remember All Of 'OITNB'

by Celeste Mora

It's been almost a year since the first season of Netflix's prison drama rocked the internet, and the second season is already on the way. Season 2 of Orange Is The New Black is already being praised, but let's not forget the magic of that first set of adventures at Litchfield Prison. Even if the characters won't return until tomorrow, we can all relive the wonder of OITNB's first season, and remember the important cliffhangers that will carry into Piper's sophomore year behind bars.

Piper Vs. Pennsatucky

Let's get the obvious plot points out of the way. You probably remember the unique combination of discomfort and relief the moment when Piper begins to punch the daylights out of Pennsatucky, which quickly turns to all-out horror when you see how long that surprisingly quiet beatdown lasts. Her lesson in ass-kicking from Taystee, Poussey, and Black Cindy seems to have worked a little too well. Season 2 has already teased the idea that Piper has gone off the deep end while in SHU (solitary confinement), so it will be interesting to see if Pennsatucky lives, and where Piper's violent tendencies go from here.

You Can't Fix Crazy

The trailer for OITNB Season 2 has already shown that Crazy Eyes and Dandelion (Piper) will be squaring off next season. Although Crazy Eyes has proven that she's crazy like a fox, we'd love to see more background on her antics and family situation next season.

Piper & Larry No Longer K-I-S-S-I-N-G

Now that we got that out of the way, let's go to the multitude of romantic relationships. Piper and fiance Larry have split, and Piper has also lost her lover Alex, so she will be completely alone at the beginning of this season.

You & Me, Plus a Baby Makes Trouble

Daya and Bennett may also have a rough patch to get through, since their relationship was on the rocks after Daya's scheme to blame her pregnancy on Pornstache, which entailed seducing him and getting caught in the act (it worked perfectly, except the part where Pornstache ends up catching feelings).

Alex's New Flame

Although many relationships ended with Season 2, Alex has laid the foundations for a fiery romance with Nicky Nichols. After Lorna Morello broke up with Nicky to pursue her straight (and possibly imaginary) marriage, Nichols was ready to heal the wounds similarly-engaged Piper left on Alex. They hooked up at the end of last season, and their chemistry is better than Red's cooking. Of course, there are smaller side relationships to think about, but that's all for the main flings to consider when Friday's episodes go online.

Sophia and Sister Ingalls are BPFFs (Best Prison Friends Forever)

Sophia has had to make some hard choices from the inside, including allowing her estranged wife Crystal to date and trying to find a way to reconcile with her son. And Sister Ingalls has been right by her side, showing her the power of forgiveness in difficult times during their frequent chapel talks. We can't wait to see their relationship move forward, and we wonder if they'll catch Yoga Jones and Watson shocking themselves at the chapel outlet.

The Smuggling Snag

We can't forget that Litchfield is under investigation for Red's smuggling ring, which Pornstache turned into a drug operation and then exposed to his higher-ups when placed on unpaid leave.

Red's Banishment

Because of the investigation, Red has been pulled from the kitchen and replaced by Mendoza and Co., which has isolated her and heightened her feud with Pornstache. Although the investigation may be halted for now, I doubt its specter will stay in the shadows for long.

Healy: He-Man Woman-Hater

Oh, and Healy is still an awful homophobic nut job on a "lesbian witch hunt." Let's hope he finally gets what's coming to him in Season 2.

Image: Netflix; Giphy (3); Tumblr/butterflycaps