Kris Is Trying to Make Kylie the Next Kim

Now that Kim Kardashian has had a baby, momager Kris Jenner is probably frantically looking for her replacement, because when the star and cash cow of the family just drops off the radar, it's time to panic. Thankfully, Kris has someone in mind. It seems like Kylie Jenner, 16, is the new Kim. She's been plucked by Kris to fill her big sister's small, tight, strappy, did we mention tight, shoes.

What? You think 16 is too young to be pimped out to the masses? Please. First of all, these girls have been on TV for years, and second of all, Kris is only making a smart business decision. Kylie's the youngest and therefore has the most money-making years left — can you blame Kris for just being savvy?

Kris' most recent attempt at monetizing Kylie involve's her sweet 16 party.

Now. We've seen enough of My Super Sweet 16 to know that huge parties for teens celebrating just another year of birth is a thing (back in our day, taking Mom's minivan for a spin to 7-11 was about as awesome as 16 got), but Kris is taking it to the next level.

According to the New York Daily News, Kris has been negotiating all over L.A. to score free swag for the party's gift bags. In return for the gratis shit, Kris is promising vendors that their products will be visible on Keeping Up With the Kardashians, since Kylie's party will be filmed, natch; photos of their products on Kylie's personal blog; and photos of Kylie in front of the gift bag table.

Ah, sweet sweet parental love. Nothing says You're the light of my life, happy birthday! quite like instructing your teenage daughter to share her birthday with the whole world, to pose for pics in front of sponsors, and to make a sex tape so that she can sell it.

Er, something like that.