Don't Come Back, Charlie Sheen

Here's something that we don't need: the return of Charlie Sheen. Apparently, Charlie Sheen is open to returning to Two And A Half Men in its final season. Now, we shouldn't wince just yet; being "open" to returning to a show isn't the same as being "gung-ho" about returning to a show, and also, no one should ever be "gung-ho" about anything because that is a terrible term.

Two And A Half Men reached its apex a loooong time ago in a galaxy far, far away called the early 2000s, and it does not need Sheen to resuscitate it. All it needs is to bow out semi-gracefully. That said, we can always use more circulating information about the Bible-thumping, very-bearded Angus T. Jones, but that is beside the point. We're talking about Sheen here.

TMZ briefly caught up with Sheen during a run-in, and when I say "brief," I mean like a "a hot 49 seconds." They asked if he'd be interested in showing up on his former TV show, and he was kinda like, yeah, I'd do it, which could have easily been a sort of polite way of saying, "Let's terminate this interview." His character was hit by a train, so if he comes back, it would have be as a ghost, which might not exactly work for the show. But hey, when you're in your final season, all hell can break loose.

It would be wise for Sheen, and his ghost, to stay away from the show — not just because he's Hollywood's resident obnoxious Twitter poster— but because current Two And A Half Men star Ashton Kutcher has told him to flip off (but with more explicit language).

My recommendation? Don't go out on a limb to get back on the show, Sheen. It will hang up its hat just fine.