Entertainment
18 Fictional Neighbors You'd Never Want in Real Life
In theory, having Zac Efron move in next door seems like a dream come true. I mean, just imagine all of the things Zac Efron could do shirtless: mow the lawn, get the newspaper, flip some burgers on the grill (see: above). But in the raunchy new comedy Neighbors , living next door to Zac Efron wouldn't be worth all of the shirtless glimpses in the world.
In the movie Efron and and his band of boisterous frat boy housemates (including Dave Franco, who wouldn't be terrible to catch a glimpse of either) make life hell for their new-parent neighbors (played by Seth Rogen and Rose Byrne) who just want some quiet and sanity on their block. The guys party, make noise, and pull pranks. In short, the kind of people that make you want to go live in seclusion. But Efron as the easy-on-the-eyes-but-hard-on-your-life-in-general is far from the worst next door neighbor in pop culture history. In honor of Neighbors, we picked the 17 worst neighbors from film and television. There goes the neighborhood.
Image: Universal
Homer Simpson — 'The Simpsons'
Sure, it would be annoying living next door to Ned Flanders, what with all those greetings of “Hi-diddly-ho, neighborinos!”, but living next door to Homer Simpson would be so much worse. He steals your stuff and never gives it back, he is nude on his front lawn way more than any neighbor should be, and about a million other terrible things (up to and including, allowing his son to keep a pet elephant, which eventually breaks free and wreaks havoc on Evergreen Terrace).
Image: Fox Broadcasting
The Griswolds — 'National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation'
My god, where do we even begin? The excessive, blinding use of Christmas lights? The rude, crude family members that literally turn your street into a toxic wasteland? (“Shitter was full!”) The rogue squirrel that attacks you when you try to confront them about all of this? We never thought we’d say this: but poor Todd and Margo.
Image: Warner Bros.
Steve Urkel — 'Family Matters'
“Did I do thaaaaat?” Do what, Steve? Be the most irritating neighbor in the history of television? Then yes, you did do that. Steve Urkel came over to the Winslow’s house constantly, and always uninvited, to bother the hell out of Carl and hit on poor Laura. Word of advice, if your neighbor has a catchphrase, move. Move far, far away.
Image: ABC
Wayne Szalinski — 'Honey, I Shrunk the Kids'
Living next door to an eccentric inventor would be a trying experience as is, but living next door to an eccentric inventor neighbor who accidentally zaps his own kids and your kids to the size of ants and turns an already-unkempt backyard into a veritable death maze would be downright horrible.
Image: Walt Disney Pictures
Wilson — 'Home Improvement'
Show your face, damn you! What are you hiding?! For a man with such wisdom about life, you think he’d figure out how to peak over a fence.
Image: ABC
Lars Thorwald — 'Rear Window'
Yes, Jeff (James Stewart) is technically a Peeping Tom (not an ideal neighbor trait in and of itself) in Hitchcock’s classic but his super creepy neighbor Lars (played by Raymond Burr) is a dog and wife murderer, which is way worse.
Image: Universal Pictures
Everyone — 'Desperate Housewives'
Murders, affairs, mayhem, lies, and worst of all, everyone snooping and being in everyone else’s business all the freakin’ time. Living on Wisteria Lane seemed like nothing short of a nightmare.
Image: ABC
Minnie and Roman Castevet — 'Rosemary's Baby'
Oh, you know, just your run-of-the-mall Satan-worshipping neighbors who slip you something sketchy at dinner one night and then you get raped by a demon that very night and wind up carrying and delivering the son of the devil. Typical wacky neighbor antics. Oh, those kooky Castevets and their terrifying fate for Rosemary Woodhouse (Mia Farrow).
Image: Paramount Pictures
Sam — 'Clarissa Explains It All'
Sam may have been a good pal to Clarissa, but he’d be every parent and homeowners worst nightmare. First of all, he uses a ladder to enter through Clarissa’s bedroom window, which is not only creepy and dangerous (just use the damn door, kid), but imagine the marks it left on the side of the house. Even worse, his entry had its own guitar riff. Though, on the plus side, he could never really sneak up on you.
Image: Nickelodeon
Jerry — 'Fright Night'
We’re no real estate experts, but we’ve got to imagine that living next door to a vampire like Jerry (Chris Sarandon) would not only be, you know, really effing scary, but it could probably severely bring down your property value.
image: Columbia Pictures
Frank and Marie Barone — 'Everybody Loves Raymond'
Imagine having your annoying, meddling parents stopping over your house whenever they so please because they live right across the street from you. Holy crap, indeed. Marie was constantly berating and trying to run a household that wasn’t hers, while Frank loafed around like he owned the place. Oh, and they once drove their car right through the front of Ray and Deb’s house.
Image: CBS
Colonel Frank Fitts — 'American Beauty'
To be fair, everyone in this movie seemed like a nightmare to live next door to. Ricky Fitts (Wes Bentley) was always filming his neighbors and going on about stupid plastic bags, while Lester Burnham (Kevin Spacey) was going through a very creepy and very nude mid-life crisis. But, we gotta give the edge to Colonel Frank Fitts (Chris Cooper), a Nazi-sympathizing, closeted homosexual who blows his neighbors brains out. That’s a tad worse than the dancing plastic bag thing.
Image: DreamWorks Pictures
Kramer — 'Seinfeld'
The mooch to end all mooches, Kramer practically lived at Jerry’s apartment and constantly took food and drinks (which he never replaced) and pretty much anything else he wanted. Not only did Kramer never knock, let alone ask to come over, but he’d often bring a neighbor even worse than him: Newman. When he wasn’t being a nuisance at Jerry’s he was making his apartment an even bigger problem, doing things like taking up smoking or installing a hot tub in his living room. Why Jerry never just dead bolted that door so Kramer couldn’t come sliding in is beyond us.
Image: NBC
Frank and April Wheeler — 'Revolutionary Road'
The screaming matches between these two would be enough to drive anyone out of the suburbs forever. When they’re not chasing each other through the woods in their backyard (because their epic fights couldn’t even be contained to the house) there’s a good chance one of them will sleep with your spouse in a drunken, desperate moment.
Image: DreamWorks
Kimmy Gibbler — 'Full House'
Much like Steve Urkel, Kimmy Gibbler was a ’90s sitcom kid who was not only otherworldly annoying, but showed up whenever she felt like it and made her presence known. How do you make an already-packed house feel even more claustrophobic? Throw Kimmy Gibbler in the mix.
Image: ABC
Abel — 'Lakeview Terrace'
Picture it: you’re Patrick Wilson and Kerry Washington, you’re recently married, and you just bought your first dream home. Life is good, right? Well it would be if you hadn’t moved next to a crazy LAPD veteran named Abel (played by Samuel L. Jackson) who spies on you and is hell-bent on turning your life upside down because you are an interracial couple.
Image: Screen Gems
Ugly Naked Guy - 'Friends'
Dude, haven’t you ever heard of blinds?! Or clothes for that matter?
Image: NBC
