Not Cool, Shep. Not Cool.

Are you so stoked for Monday night’s Southern Charm reunion that you've just about lost every last marble?! Right there with you. At the moment, I am gobbling up the BravoTV.com exclusive reunion videos. In one of the clips, host Andy Cohen lobs a few fun questions at the cast to get them "warmed up" for the reunion. The cast answers who they find to be the most charming of the group (Thomas Ravenel picks Whitney Sudler-Smith, because that water could not be more under the bridge) and how their parents feel about the show (generally positive).

After congratulating Ravenel on the birth of baby Kensington, Cohen asks the cast who they think will be the next to have a kid. Initially, a majority of the cast says recently-married Cameran Eubanks. (Ya know, because first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage. I think that's one of Newton's Laws of Physics.) Eubanks jokingly grabs her Herve Leger'd stomach. But then, Jenna King says, “I’d say Shep [Rose] on accident.” Craig Conover agrees with this.

Cohen asks Rose if he uses birth control. Rose responds, “Do they or do I?” Uh oh. UH OH. Cohen clarifies, “Do you?”

Rose’s answer: “I assume that they do.”

AUUUUUGHHHHHHH. I hope he is kidding. Please be kidding. Please be hamming it up for TV. PLEASE.

Hey, Shepard Rose. Old buddy, old pal. Let us have a chat. Say you aren't kidding. You're really not going to ask a lady about it beforehand? Y'all aren't even going to address it? No "just in case" rubbers? You're just going to assume she's on BC and let the chips fall as they may? That's totally chill. Oh, wait. Nope, it is not.

You were the guy who shook your head at T-Rav for sleeping with Kathryn Dennis sans protection. What happened to you?

Furthermore, even if you assume correctly and a lady happens to be on BC, BC won't protect either of you from STIs! I'm sure you know this, Rose, so why would you endanger yourself and others? I hate to get so soapboxy and lecturey, but AUGHHHHHH.

Perhaps you have a great and terrific reason that didn't cross my mind. Forgive me. I'm getting ahead of myself. Please go on and tell us why you opt out of wearing protection. I'm curious.

“Because it feels so good, I can’t stop,” he laughs.

AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Wait. If Rose doesn't use condoms, then what's this about?

Why do you want a Trojan sponsorship? Do you want to make a bunch of balloon animals or something? Explain yourself, Rose!

UPDATE:

Ask, and you shall receive. Rose explained himself:

I guess this means Operation Trojan Sponsorship is a go!

Images: Bravo; livelaughlyme/tumblr