It's only been a year since I graduated from Columbia University in the City of New York — yes, using the school's full name is imperative — but not a day goes by that I don't miss it. (Sad, I know.) Those of us privileged enough to have attended Columbia, or who are lucky enough to go there now, know what I'm talking about: There are some things only we Lions can truly understand. Here's how you know you're a true Columbia student.
During your first semester, you considered Alma your most reliable friend
At least she was always in the same place!
and It took you awhile to ride on something other than the 1, 2, and 3 trains
You know there's a place called Baker, but you've never been there
Hint: It's the football stadium.
When you talk about The Core, you're not referring to an apple
You have a favorite nap spot in Butler
This may or may not be the same place as your favorite Netflix spot.
You hate it when people refer to Low as "the library"
It's just not.
You've mastered the fine art of smuggling fro-yo out of John Jay...
...and you reference your Art Hum Professor at every fine art museum you visit.
Cause you're also classy like that.
If you attended before 2010, you reminisce about the days when JJ's Place was a la carte
Buying fried zucchini and mozzarella sticks at any hour was also pure luxury.
you know Bacchanal is the best day of the year
If you can even remember it.
You get most of your news from BWOG
You've begged your professor to hold class on the lawns
Because once it gets nice out, that's the only place you want to be anyway.
You've had nightmares about the housing lottery
and You've only met with your advisor once. you think.
It was, um, super-helpful.
You want to live in a post-racial, post-colonialist, post-gender society
But are well-aware you don't.
Your typical Saturday night involves deciding between The Heights or 1020
Maybe Ding Dong Lounge, if you're feeling alternative.
Sunday morning = braving the line at Nussbaum or Absolute
You've joked about donating $10 Million to NoCo just so it will finally have a name
And that name will be your name, duh.
If you own anything blue, it probably has a CU logo on it
Or Roar-ee.
You can list all of the movie(s) filmed on campus
Yep, New York Minute.
You have CAVA on speed dial
Just in case.
You use your UNI for all passwords requiring numbers
And probably your ATM pin. Totally safe.
You really enjoyed applying for your classes every semester
Because applying to college wasn't enough.
Doing senior wisdom is more important to you than graduating with honors
Or maybe that was just me...
You know the main thing that NYU and Columbia students have in common...
...They both applied to Columbia.
Your post graduation plans probably entail going to grad school. At Columbia.
SIPA? TC? If you're not staying another year, you secretly hate everyone who is.
and Most of all, even no matter how much debt or homework you might have
You're damn proud to call Columbia your university
Gotta love this school.
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