Here's The Truth About 'SpongeBob SquarePants'

Remember those days in middle school when you used to ask your friends how beaches existed in the show SpongeBob SquarePants since the characters were already in the ocean, and why the creators decided to name it Bikini Bottom? Yeah, well that wasn’t even that bad. However, everyone at Animation Domination High-Def, which was created by Fox Broadcasting, created a Scientifically Accurate video for SpongeBob SquarePants this weekend. And it will ruin your childhood. Forever.

The video begins with someone who is obviously supposed to portray the Somali pirate, Muse (Barkhad Abdi), in the movie Captain Phillips, which we can only assume is for the sake of representing the show’s only non-animated character, Patchy the Pirate.

Later, the theme song continues in the backround by noting how most sea sponges are actually hermaphrodites, meaning an adult sponge can either act as a female or a male during reproduction. Already sad? I was too. This immediately makes me wonder what SpongeBob would’ve been like if the writers had chosen to make him a girl from the beginning. Bob is short for Robert and Robert is the male version of the name Roberta, so would she have been SpongeRoberta SquareSkirt? It doesn’t exactly have the same flow.

After this, the video goes into more detail about the reproductive progress of a sponge that I didn’t care to know about but unfortunately do now, before also ruining the Nickelodeon show’s other characters.

For instance, the clip mocks the fact that Squidward only has six tentacles in the show despite squids always having eight arms with an addition of two feeding tentacles in reality. Likewise, it notes how both squids and starfish are predators to many of the characters we see in SpongeBob SquarePants and that it’s probably that Squidward would have eaten Mr. Krabs and Patrick Star would have eaten SpongeBob. And also Gary the Snail. Depressing, right?

After this, I don’t think it’s possible for me to look at my favorite childhood show the same way ever again.

Image: Nickelodeon