Entertainment

Jason Derulo loves big butts, cannot lie

by Sofia Barrett-Ibarria

You can listen to his new album online: Jason Derulo's Talk Dirty, is scheduled for release on April 15, 2014. After putting out a five-track teaser last year, the eleven-track Talk Dirty will be Jason Derulo's third U.S. album. Talk Dirty also features two bonus tracks: Tattoo, and Fire, featuring Pitbull, because what is an album full of radio-friendly sex jams without Pitbull? But seriously. The dude is everywhere. Snoop Dogg, Tyga, and 2 Chainz make appearances on the album, as well as Jordin Sparks, aka Jason Derulo's fiancé, which is basically the most adorable thing ever. Talk Dirty is about as classic Derulo as any Derulo album could be. Meaning, the album is packed with dance-y radio jams, songs that are clearly written about Jordin Sparks (again, adorable) and a bunch of songs whose themes and content I'm probably not allowed to describe in detail on this website.

Talk Dirty opens with the single by the same name featuring 2 Chainz that everyone everywhere has no doubt already heard on the radio or in any Zumba class anywhere. Next up is "Wiggle" features Snoop Dogg, another ultra-catchy track with a similar feel as "Talk Dirty" that is basically, you guessed it, about a girl's butt and how Jason wants her to wiggle it. Everywhere. Notable lyrics include, "Your booty like two planets/Go ahead and go ham sandwich", "I just wanna strip you, dip you, strip you, bubble-bathe you" and some other snippets I probably shouldn't put in writing. "Bubblegum" featuring Tyga, "Kama Sutra" featuring Kid Ink, "Zipper", and "With The Lights On" are some more songs that cover such topics as sex with girls, girls' butts and how much Jason Derulo likes them, and light bondage play. All four have a moderately dance-able beat, though not quite as catchy or memorable as the opening track.

However, Jason Derulo makes it clear that he's absolutely obsessed with Jordin Sparks and that he cares about things other than girls and butts, or that maybe he's specifically interested in Jordin Sparks' butt. Things get a little more gushy and romantic in "Stupid in Love", the bonus track "Tattoo" (a shout out to Jordin Sparks' song by the same name?), "The Other Side" and "Trumpets", which is reminiscent of early Derulo in terms of its overall feel and evokes his "Whatcha Say" and "Riding Solo" days.

If anyone was still unclear about how super into his fiancé he really is, Jason Derulo lets us know in "Vertigo" featuring Jordin Sparks, and "Marry Me" which is basically a three-minute-long marriage proposal to Jordin Sparks, which he probably felt compelled to write after breaking his neck in concert and maybe realizing that life is short and he needed to lock that down. The song is so disgustingly cute it makes me a little nauseous if I think about it for too long and is probably being co-opted right now by every guy trying to propose to his girlfriend in quite possibly the cheesiest way ever. The album closes with the bonus track "Fire" that features Pitbull saying "Drinks up" and "Hands up" over and over. It's fairly standard and a little forgettable, but proves that Pitbull will never stop showing up in every song ever.

You can preview Jason Derulo's new album below: