Entertainment

We're All Getting Impatient for the Royal Baby

by Alicia Lutes

Where in the world is the World's Most Important SuperBaby? Kate Middleton and Wills' baby is more elusive than Carmen Sandiego these days (since we all know where she is at the moment). But! Be still young hearts: the baby may just be on its way, as the Duke and Duchess have reportedly run off to London in a hurry. BABY TIME?!

We all had the date July 13 marked down in our date books (circled in red ink and hearts shaded to look like the union jack, no doubt), but that day came and went. As did all the other days that have passed since. It has been very annoying.

The UK's Telegraph, however, is reporting that we all got it wrong: Her due date has supposedly been Friday, July 19 all along. But even with all the mixed messages, hysteria, and reactionary concern, there's still no official word from America's favorite overseas figureheads. Although truth be told — word on the street is that even the queen herself is growing tired of this waiting game, especially because she's going on holiday next week.

So tut tut, little prince or princess! The time is ripe for your arrival! Plus your very important grandmother has some poolside lounging to accomplish so hurry the eff up already.

I mean, who knows: maybe the royal baby got lost inside the castle. Or, maybe it's already learned the importance of being fashionably late. Either way, I think we can all agree we're pretty upset about the waiting game and are doing everything within our power to will this Royal Bundle into the world.

Once that baby finally gets here, it'll be a celebration the world over! Regardless of your relationship (or lack thereof) with the monarchy!

But seriously, baby, until then we're just sitting here all anxious:

So hurry the hell up already.

Until then, we wait. At first we tried to stay dignified about the whole thing (after all, the baby IS British).

But now it's gotten to the point where we just can't be cool about it:

Now our days look mostly like this:

I hope this baby fully understands that its tardiness is causing consequences. Mostly by making us realize how much Royal Baby über-obsessives are draining on our emotional resources.

Make haste, Royal Baby. Make haste.

GIF Credit: Reality TV gifs [8]; What Should We Call Me [13]