Do Not Mention Vaginas Around Russell Crowe

Attention, everyone! Attention: Russell Crowe cannot handle a ladybush. How are privy to this tidbit of information? Crowe, despite a comfy seat on the couch, got awfully shy while Cameron Diaz talked about her pubic hair on The Graham Norton Show.

Diaz, in her usual song and dance number of "love your vagina" and "never, ever shave your bush ever 'cause you're never fully dressed without a bush" (get it? She's going to be in Annie this Christmas. Cross-reference!), was on the show to talk about vaginas, I mean her career (which is turning into a career about vaginas now that The Body Book is out, no)? Anyway, Crowe and fellow Aussie Kylie Minogue were perched on the couch as Diaz gave us new ways to refer to hair down there. "Pretty little draping" is one.

You also might, as per Diaz's suggestions, want to leave it "fully dressed." (See? You're never fully dressed without a bush was warranted!) Essentially, Diaz is probably silently coming up with a line of merkins for women who have lasered their vaginas because of some AWFUL STIGMA BY THE MAN, and she's here to rescue us all with her prophetic love-your-vag-the-way-it-is talk. Anyway. This is not, in fact, about Cameron Diaz, even though its fun to wax (HAHA GET IT) about why she loves to talk about pubic hair. The lady's a candid one!

This is about Russell Crowe.

Crowe apparently seemed quite embarrassed as Diaz cleared things up about pubic hair ("20 years from now, you will still want to be presenting it to someone special, and it would be nice to let him or her unwrap it like the gift that it"), which gives us the opportunity to make the educated guess that vagina talk not only makes him uncomfortable, but that he cannot handle hair down there. You're Noah, man. C'mon. You also have not-so-secret rock star ambitions. Man up.

So, while Crowe has yet to speak on the issue, we can speak for him — vagina talk just makes him shy.