My Astrologer Mom Predicted My Love Life In 2017

Every year when I retreat from my miniature Manhattan apartment to the place I called home for 21 years, I’m reminded of the upbringing I’ve grown to so thoroughly cherish. While in some instances, I had all of the makings of a traditional childhood — home-cooked meals and conversations around the dinner table, after school sports and family vacations — there is one big difference that sets my lifestyle apart from the others. Even though I did attend church and was raised to be a tolerant, charitable and forgiving Methodist, my mom had a very unique way of teaching me life’s lessons. How? She used astrology to guide me.

When you have someone’s natal birth chart, instead of just reading their horoscope, it’s a different experience. Your birth chart is what the universe looked like the second you took your first breath, as if the planets were frozen still. Their position and placement in the universe dictates qualities that are inherently true to you and can help parents better understand what their children will respond to and what they simply, won’t. As a woman with a sun in Virgo, a moon in Scorpio and a mars in Aries, I’m level-headed and motherly, but also incredibly passionate, driven and yeah, at times, jealous.

These days, hearing my mom warn me that Mercury is going to retrograde (so I shouldn’t book a plane ticket) or that something is transitioning my 5th house of children (so I shouldn’t have unprotected sex) literally goes in one ear and out another. But there’s one thing I always ask for around the New Year: Please mama, tell me how my dating life will be this year! Will I find love?

Here’s what she had to say for me and 2017:

I'll Be In The Spotlight

“Communication and groups/clubs/organizations are the key players in all of your charts for love this year. Jupiter the planet of opportunity, expansion, growth, philosophy, and confidence is shining it's positive energy in your house of romance, dating, creativity and playfulness. Neptune is also shining a mist of romance, illusion and overly idealistic notions in the 5th house, so don't forget the birth control while you are enjoying being swept off your feet-5th house is children.” (See, told you.)

I’ll Be Tackling My Saturn Return

“Since you are going through your Saturn return, which will be over after 12/17, you will be taking steps into the new life that you have created for yourself-your rules, your words, your dreams. You are your own authority now. A career change, marriage, becoming a parent, going back to school, changing your residence are all Saturn return possibilities. You have gained a new confidence and stability and maturity and you are ready for your new life and men will be drawn to you.”

I Might Fall In Love Fast

“Your solar return chart indicates an unexpected and perhaps sudden relationship that becomes serious (an Aries type personality). He may even suggest a spontaneous Vegas wedding, but use your level-head and don't let him charm you into it. You have Libra rising too, which will give you added charm, beauty, grace and softness (like your Mom). Another Neptune placement in the 5th-great for dreaming with a mate and having lots of romantic sex (condoms, condoms, condoms, please).”

OK, OK mom, I get it!

Images: Author's own