This Song Has a Flawless 'Voice' Track Record

Woo, Tuesday night’s Battles: Round Two were hot hot fire. Oh, how do I feel about the new round thing? I can dig it. I think it's a fun, not gimmicky way to keep The Voice fresh (and Chris Martin is an excellent advisor. Wait. WAIT. I just remembered something! A couple of months ago, I totally suggested all of The Voice teams share the same advisor. I basically called it. I know this show so well. Sure, I requested that single advisor be the one and only Cher, but still. I WAS SO WARM). As I was saying, the second night of Battles: Round two was incredible. Three top notch performances. Shoot, I am so stoked for this season.

When Sisaundra Lewis and Biff Gore of Team Blake selected their Battle song, my entire body seized up. Why? Because out of the three potential songs, they picked “It’s a Man’s Man’s Man’s World.” Don't get me wrong, I wasn’t at all worried as to whether or not they could handle the song (Spoiler alert: they handled the song.), but “It’s A Man’s Man’s Man’s World” is a ballsy, no-nonsense choice. A choice that could lead to only one of two results: 1) an absolutely spectacular performance, or 2) a crushingly disappointing performance. No middle ground.

It is not just a sacred James Brown song. It is also a very important Voice song. A Voice song that has been performed so brilliantly and effortlessly during seasons past. A Voice song that has yet to see any missteps. A Voice song that means so much this Voice fan. Before Biff and Sisaundra, there was Judith Hill and Karina Iglesias:

No words. I get chills every time I watch it. And before Judith and Karina, there was Juliet Simms:

Again, no words. Just chills on chills.

"Are they going to somehow outdo Juliet and Judith and Karina?!?!" I mumbled at the TV screen while Biff and Sisaundra rehearsed. "I don't know if I can handle chills on chills on chills."

I took a deep breath. I prepped for the performance. I grabbed the arm of my sofa for support. Sisaundra and Biff took the stage. And they began:

Oh my god. This is how you decide to kick off the show, The Voice? You hit me with an epic performance like that and expect that I won't be passed out the ground for the remainder of the episode?

Fortunately, I was able to pull myself together and watch the rest of the Battles. BUT OH MY GOD.

This performance was everything. Biff and Sisaundra set the stage ablaze. The coaches were a wreck. The Battle was pure madness. Chills on chills on chills. My stomach had chills. My eyeballs had chills. My fingernails had chills. I was on cloud nine.

I snapped out of my state of euphoria when coach Blake Shelton sent Biff home. Oh right, I thought. This is a competition, not a concert. Dangit.

As I teared up while Biff said his goodbyes, something dawned on me. A silver lining: "It's A Man's Man's Man's World" is 3/3 on The Voice. "It's A Man's Man's Man's World" strikes again. The perfect record has a perfect record. When paired with the right singers, this song cannot be stopped.

A humble request to any and all future Voice competitors: If you sing "It's A Man's Man's Man's World," don't ruin its perfect record. Demolish the entire stage with it like Voice competitors of yore. Don't let me down. Don't let The Voice down. Don't let James Brown down.

NEXT MONDAY NIGHT: THE LAST NIGHT OF BATTLES: ROUND TWO!

Images: Tyler Golden/NBC; nannyseekingsanity/tumblr