It's time to take a break from gaping in shock at the Kimye issue of Vogue and start laughing at their upcoming wedding. Well, at an imagined version of their wedding. The #WORLDSMOSTTALKEDABOUTCOUPLE are getting married sometime this summer in Paris and while the event is likely to be insanely lavish and over the top, there's a chance its menu will be a little more... casual. Burger King offered to cater Kim Kardashian and Kanye West's wedding and while it's highly unlikely the pair will take them up on it, we can still dream.
The offer didn't come out of the blue. There was rumor that Kanye actually bought 10 Burger King locations as a gift for Kim. Why he would ever do that, I'm not sure. "Hey Kim, I love you so much I want to make sure you never have to pay* for a burger and fries again" (*at one of these 10 locations after showing identification confirming that you are the spouse of the owner). The fast food chain put that particular rumor to rest and then said, "we're available to cater the wedding!"
Let's pretend we live in a world where Kim and Kanye say yes to this proposition. In a beautiful French venue, after vowing to spend the rest of their lives together, the happy couple and their closest friends and family sit down to enjoy a delicious meal provided by Burger King. What exactly would some of the Kardashians eat? Let's take a few guesses.
Kim Kardashian: Chicken, Apple & Cranberry Garden Fresh Salad
As if Kim would risk letting ketchup or burger grease stain her wedding dress(es). She'll likely want to keep her meal light anyway, make sure she looks great in the guaranteed skintight dress all night. Maybe she'll splurge on a few "Satisfries" throughout the night, it is her special day after all.
Kanye West: Cheeseburger Kids Meal
Kids meals may not have the most food, but they're the only menu items that come with a crown so obviously that is will Kanye will be having. If he can share the spotlight, maybe North can have one too.
Kris Jenner: Cherry ICEE
To be more specific, a cherry ICEE that is exactly 10 percent cherry, 10 percent ice and 80 percent vodka.
Bruce Jenner: Big Mac
Poor Bruce will be so disoriented, asking over and over for a Big Mac and not understanding why no one will give him one. Eventually, Brandon will appear with a Whopper and help calm him down.
Scott Disick: Nothing
As if Lord Disick would ever eat anything from a place like Burger King, where the peasants go. To even suggest such a thing would probably be treason in his kingdom. No, the Lord will bring his own meal from home, one suited for a real royal.
Images: Burger King, McDonald's
