The ’Pump Rules’ Season 5 Credits Are A Thrill

Steam your Lisa Vanderpump-approved bandana dress and fire up a plate of crispy chicken, because Bravo shared the Vanderpump Rules Season 5 opening credits with E! News, and E! News shared the Vanderpump Rules Season 5 opening credits with the internet (you can watch here). Until my favorite Sexy Unique Bravolebrities will return to my television on Monday Nov. 7, I will stare at this work of art as if it was a full episode of Pump Rules. I already love it as much as Jax Taylor loathes any cocktail that requires muddling.

The fifth edition of the Vanderpump Rules opening credits are exactly as they should be: a slightly updated version of the stunning slow-mo drink magic trick showcase set to Dena Deadly’s “Raise Your Glass” that has been a part of the series since the first season. Andy Cohen and Co. know better than to overhaul such a marvelous opening credits sequence and give us something completely different; why try to fix something that is unbreakable?

Much like every version before it, latest iteration of the Pump Rules opening credits are as gorgeous as they are exhilarating. The subtle changes are intriguing, to say the least. Here are a few of the things I took away from this new sequence:

• I didn't think it was possible, but Jax's smoldering gaze is somehow even more smoldering this go-round. Truly a national treasure, that Jason Cauchi.
• Stassi Schroeder’s dress is what would happen if the song “Good As Gold” and the SUR bandana dress uniform became one, which is to say it's the stuff of dreams.
• Is Tom Sandoval’s fire cocktail a clue that we’ll finally see him breathe fire this season?
• What’s Tom Sandoval throwing at that flaming drink? Because it looks like Floo Powder. Or salt. Either option seems just as likely.
• Was someone in charge of catching DJ James Kennedy’s headphones take after take? Because that seems like a fun job.
• Really into that piping on Tom Schwartz’s button-down.
• What color is Katie Maloney’s lipstick? Is it gray? Purple? Pink? This is like The Dress all over again.
• If someone put a screengrab of Kristen narrowing her eyes at the camera while she lets a champagne bottle spray on a T-shirt, I would buy it so fast.
• Lala Kent’s in the group shot, but her name isn’t included in the opening credits. So I guess she really isn’t a main cast member this season. Huh. Well, that is a bummer.
• What’s Peter Madrigal doing lurking in the back of the group shot again? Manager Peter deserves better.
• Then again, it is better than last time. Dude was, like, 95% shadow in Season 4:

• Now who is this person? Has she been on the show before? Or is she a Vandernewbie?

• Wait just a pumpin’ minute. Where is Faith Stowers? I miss her already.
• Giggy looks as handsome as ever. That's all.

You know that it's Pump Rules' time, this is the best opening credits sequence of our lives. So raise your glasses high. This one's for you, Pump Rules.

Image: Nicole Weingart/Bravo; Bravo