I’m not a germophobe. Actually, I’m pretty much the exact opposite. I’m of the belief that the human body needs certain microorganisms in order to function at peak health. That being said, there are a few things people are buying on Amazon that the self professed hypochondriac should check out, because where my fear of germs is lacking, my fear of chemicals is through-the-roof. Label-reading and ingredient-researching might as well be listed underneath the skills category on my resume, as I do everything in my power to make damn sure that I know exactly what’s in everything from my food to my cosmetics.
I call it “clean living,” and so do countless other nutritionists and health practitioners, but left unchecked, it could very well turn fanatical. So if you’re checking WebMD in five minute intervals and you’re still just waiting for your appendix to explode; we’re not actually that different. Whether you’re a bit health-obsessed yourself, or you’re just looking for gifts for the hypochondriac in your life, you’re in the right place. Here are some of Amazon’s greatest bizarre but popular items that help fight germs, keep you healthy, and get you a little more comfortable with the idea of microbes, all without the chemicals and nasty ingredients.
1. Sleep Better Knowing That Your Air Is Clean
GermGuardian Air Purifier & Projector, $80, Amazon
Sleep with this GermGuardian air purifier and projector next to your bed, and you’ll rest easy knowing that your air is almost entirely free of germs, allergens, mold spores, and dust. Plus, it’s got three epic choices for projector themes, including 'Twinkle Moon & Stars,' 'Sleepy Safari,' and 'Under the Sea.'
2. Zap Away All The Germs On Your Toilet Seat
UV Sterilizer Toilet Light, $60, Amazon
To make the grossest room of your house just a little bit cleaner, there’s this UV sterilizer toilet light. It’s entirely rechargeable and takes just six minutes to kill germs and bacteria on your toilet while purifying the air of allergens and odors.
3. Seriously Clean Your Phone Screen
Magicpotion Anti-Bacterial Screen Spray, $15, Amazon
Everyone knows how dirty their phones are. This Magicpotion anti-bacterial screen spray is great for screens, lenses, and cameras. It’s antibacterial, but gentle on your most expensive devices, and it comes with a microfiber cloth that gets rid of smudges and dirt.
4. This Essential Oil Diffuser Will Ease Stressed Out Minds & Bodies
Easehold Essential Oil Diffuser, $44, Amazon
This Easehold essential oil diffuser, which doubles as a humidifier, purifier, and night light keeps the air in your room feeling refreshed, instead of dried out.
5. Don't Forget The Soothing Lavender Oil
Germ Fighter Essential Oil Blend, $10, Amazon
With an undiluted and totally natural blend of bacteria-fighting essential oils like clove and eucalyptus, the germ fighter essential oil blend goes wonderfully with any kind of oil diffuser.
6. Soothe That Migraine Before It Even Starts
Ultra Premium Aromatherapy Heating Pads, $37, Amazon
When you start to feel that killer headache coming on, these Ultra Premium aromatherapy heating pads are here to save the day. They’re all natural and made from cotton, organic herbs, and microwave-safe flaxseeds. They also retain heat for a really long time to soothe your head, muscles, or abdomen — not to mention they smell incredible.
7. Rule Out The Idea Of A Water-Based Parasite
LifeStraw Personal Water Filter, $20, Amazon
With over 5,000 reviews because of how downright useful this thing is, the LifeStraw personal water filter filters out waterborne bacteria and parasites, all without iodine, chlorine, or other chemicals. Use it for camping or emergencies, so you always have clean water.
8. Get A Little More Comfortable With Microbes
Giant Microbes Romantic Heart Warming Gift Box, $18, Amazon
If you can’t beat 'em, cuddle with 'em. This Giant Microbes gift box can help any hypochondriac get a little more comfortable with popular microbes and microscopic friends, like 'Egg Cell,' 'Sperm Cell,' 'Kissing Disease,' 'Penicillin,' and 'Amoeba.'
9. Vacuum Seal All Your Food For Guaranteed Freshness
INLIFE K8 Automatic Vacuum Sealer, $70, Amazon
Does the idea of spoiled food really freak you out? The INLIFE K8 automatic vacuum sealer allows you to remove all the air from wet or dry foods, so you can store it for way longer without germs, bacteria, or spoiling. It also comes with 20 starter bags.
10. Clean With A Healthy & Natural Anti-Bacterial Soap
Hose Off Body Wash Soap, $14, Amazon
A great soap is a must-have for any hypochondriac for obvious reasons, and Hose Off body wash soap uses all natural ingredients that are anti-septic, anti-bacterial, and totally safe for the most sensitive skin. People are loving it because it lathers well, rinses off without any residue, smells great, and leaves your skin looking great.
11. Lessen The Chance Of Food Poisoning
Nordic by Nature Neoprene Lunch Bag Set, $22, Amazon
If brown bagging it sounds like a breeding ground for germs, the Nordic by Nature neoprene lunch bag set is made with a thick layer of Neoprene that keeps your food cold and fresh (or hot and preserved) for up to six hours. They’re also totally non-toxic, PVC-free, and come with three beverage sleeves to stop your drinks from sweating all over the place.
12. Cleanse Your Face And Hands The Healthy Way
Herban Essentials Cleansing Towelettes, $16, Amazon
With nothing but natural ingredients, these Herban Essentials cleansing towelettes are a complete lifesaver. They’ve got lavender essential oils that soothe your skin and calm your mood, and they can be used for everything from makeup removal to cleaning your hands.
13. Get Your Beauty (Immune System) Rest While Traveling
LANGRIA Infinity-Shape Travel Pillow, $13, Amazon
Every hypochondriac knows that sleep is your best defense against all sickness, and this LANGRIA infinity-shape travel pillow is hypoallergenic, anti-mite, chemical-free, and antibacterial. It can be fastened to your seat while traveling or used in bed to support the neck, and people say the memory foam inside is ridiculously comfortable.
14. No More Swine Flu On Your Toothbrush
Violife Toothbrush Sanitizer, $43, Amazon
This Violife toothbrush sanitizer uses a UV light to zap away 99 percent of germs and some viruses from the head of your toothbrush. It holds up to four at once, and only takes ten minutes to work its magic.
15. Consider All Your Possible Options
The Complete Manual of Things That Might Kill You, $18, Amazon
So you’re well prepared for anything and everything, there’s The Complete Manual of Things That Might Kill You , and it’s dedicated entirely to the hypochondriac. It’s got over 300 intriguing diseases and medical phenomena, and it makes for a morbidly hilarious (yet strangely informative) coffee table book.
Images: Fotolia (1); Amazon (15)
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