Rihanna & 'Teen Mom' Merge in an Odd Way

"It's not just a concert, it's Rihanna." The pop singer and Eminem recently announced that they will kick off "The Monster Tour" at the Rose Bowl on August 7. Rihanna recently celebrated this news by Instagramming a clip of Jenelle Evans (from Teen Mom 2) explaining that a Ke$ha (or is it Kesha, now?) concert had to take precedence over her impending incarceration. Evans had feathers in her hair, she had a hotel room booked, and she had even purchased new clothing specifically for the concert. Rihanna added her own spice to the viral music video, replacing Ke$ha's name with a shot of her glittering torso and an announcer's voice blaring, "Rihanna!"

Could this be the next big thing in concert promotion? I certainly hope that celebrities start appropriating viral videos and inserting themselves, especially in the case of covers that are simply not doing them justice. And if one million people will watch a funny video about a dancing cat, imagine the joy of watching a dancing cat with Eminem's face! I've gone through the trouble of collecting some clips that are just begging for celebrity reupholstery. "The Monster Tour," say hello to your "Next Big Thing"s in self-promotion. And thank you, Rihanna, for getting this ball rolling.

"Leave Britney Alone!"

Imagine Chris Crocker sobbing, "All you people want is more more more more Rihanna!"

"Charlie Bit Me-- And Rihanna!"

Come to think of it, this video would work equally well as a promotional advertisement for any Charlie Sheen film or show.

"The Sneezing Baby Panda"

… is Rihanna. Imagine Eminem dressed up as the mother panda, while Rihanna rolls in straw in a baby panda suit. You're witnessing the sneeze that kicked off a tour.

"David After Dentist"

Imagine that, instead of high on novocaine, this kid is off his rocker after a Rihanna concert. All his dad has to ask is, "How did 'The Monster Tour' go?" The wordless roar suddenly makes sense, as does the question, "Is this real life?"

"I Love You" Dog

This one actually works creepily well, because Mishka's first attempt sounds like "I love Riri." Simply insert "Rihanna" for "you" in each of the dog's attempts, and you'll start to understand why the owners keep pressing. All they're trying to get is a profession of love, but Mishka is loyal to Rihanna and Rihanna alone.

Ultimately, "The Monster Tour" is offering Rihanna and Eminem the chance to invert the celebrity-fan relationship. They have shown that voyeurism can go both ways, from fans commenting on their star crushes to stars commenting on their fan crushes (or appropriating the crush focus of other fans). Slowly but surely, we can use these interactions to collapse the social pyramid until a video of a mundane activity like grape-stomping can garner as many views as a clip of a professional musician or actor. In fact, dear reader, we may already be there.