Tell your kids (or someone else's kids, if you have none of your own) this universal, hallowed truth: don't become a celebrity unless you want strangers to ask totally uncalled for questions about your body someday. Naya Rivera knows this firsthand, as Tuesday the singer and Glee actress posted a photo with her boyfriend, rapper Big Sean. In the photo, her breasts appear to be rather large, so rather than delivering a swift and hearty "you go girl" — after all, she appears to be on vacation, looking amazing, and with the man she loves — the internet went into boob job rumor mill mode. A celebrity looks hotter than we expect them to, start the speculating.
It's what we do, in general, but it's disgusting. Sure, it's completely possible that Rivera's seemingly new look could be the work of a talented surgeon and that this photo is her coming out party. As many crude side-by-side comparisons out there love to show, it looks like she once rocked a more modest bust and she does live in Los Angeles, land of a thousand top-notch plastic surgeons. But there's also the possibility that this photo is just from a really great angle, with the right shadows, and the benefit of leaning forward. Haven't we all seen a random photo of ourselves pop up in which some previously under-appreciated body part looks unexpectedly awesome? And don't we find excuses to post those to social media or perhaps frame them in the halls of some National museum? Sometimes inhumanly good photos just happen.
But in truth, it doesn't matter if that's the case here. It doesn't matter whether or not Rivera had a breast augmentation or just the sensation of finding herself in an uncommonly flattering photo. After all, they're just breasts and 50 percent of the population has them. There are entire magazines full of them, if you're so inclined to purchase a Playboy or other similar publication. Consider boob job speculation of that past that swirled around Lindsay Lohan when she debuted her "new look" in Mean Girls or the fact that Britney Spears had to wear animatronic dancing boobs on SNL to quiet rumors about her supposed adjustments. The question isn't just insulting, it's old and it has nothing to do with actual breasts.
This ugly question is actually about keeping celebs in check. After we've inflated them up to demigod status, the next step is to knock them down a few pegs, or so goes the celebrity news cycle. Celebrities are generally some of the more attractive people known to man and when we see them prancing around, looking perfect in every photo and on every red carpet, there's a natural inclination to make sure they're not too perfect. It's the grown-up, detached version of gossiping about the popular girls at school to make the pain of being unpopular a little lesser. "Did Naya Rivera get a boob job?" is exactly the same as "Sure Tammy looks great in her new sweater, but I heard she went to the plastic surgeon over Christmas break." It's nasty and it absolutely doesn't matter.
All we're doing when we ask a question about surgical enhancements, or even the question about using light and angles to make someone's assets appear larger than they actually are, is making sure to break our own crack in the celeb reality that's starting to look a little too flawless. We do it constantly. That's why we flock to stories about celebrity arrests or breakdowns — even for "celebs" we'd have to Google in order to remember why they're famous. As much our society teaches us to dream of attaining celebrity status, or at least enough wealth to be near celebrities on occasion, we can't let that world be too perfect or it doesn't feel real. The boob job question accomplishes the swift lifting of the veil.
So, no. We don't have an answer regarding Rivera's changed or unchanged body. Not only is it a gross, invasive question about another woman's body, but if you're asking the question, you don't really need the answer. You've already made up your mind; you've either chosen to see this as a crack in the celebrity facade or you haven't. No ounce of truth or further rumors will change that. As for the rest of us, we'll return to a life of carrying not a single ounce of worry about how a Glee star managed to snap a super sexy photo. Instead, we'll stroll casually by and muster a "you go girl" if we feel so inclined because the only response here should be that yet another celebrity lady looks damn good and damn happy. Thassit.
Image: Instagram/ nayarivera