Life
Awkward Feelings '90s Kids Had About Their Posters
It was a big deal for kids decorating bedrooms in the '90s to cover the walls, floor to ceiling, in posters of '90s heartthrobs. I wasn't allowed to have posters up in my room, but I got around it by covering the back wall of my wardrobe with them, so when I was in my room, I'd open the doors, part my hanging clothes, and let the glow of the heartthrobs radiate into the room. When mum would come in, it would be an easy operation to cover up. I was always very jealous of all my friends who were allowed to plaster their walls with posters of their celebrity crushes. But no matter where you stuck your heartthrob, all '90s kids had awkward feelings about their posters of them.
Of course, it's always going to be awkward when your boyfriend/girlfriend is a poster of a celebrity. No one said that was going to be easy. Having a relationship with a poster presented all kinds of awkward physical challenges, and confusing feelings. For instance, kissing a piece of paper goodnight, as much as you liked doing it, definitely didn't ever feel totally natural. Here are awkward feelings '90s kids had about their posters of heartthrobs.
1. Lust
The foremost reason we put up posters of heartthrobs was lust. We awkwardly lusted over paper printouts of pictures of our crushes. This is probably what led to all the weird poster kissing ...
2. Trepidation
And yet we still approached our posters with some trepidation. Being cognizant that they were, after all, literally just pieces of paper, made our love somewhat stunted, and some of the kisses we gave were often a little reluctant. Basically, no one wanted to be caught making out with a poster.
3. Love
We kept the posters there regardless of awkwardness. We treated them like pets. If they tore, or the blue tack left weird marks on them, we'd cry. We loved our poster collections. Truly.
4. Uncertainty
Everything you did with your posters was second guessed. Of course you loved them, lusted for them, wanted to keep them up... Or did you? You never really quite knew the answer.
5. Shyness
Everyone is shy when they have a crush. Even as an adult, you've probably experienced not being able to say the right words when you're around someone you like, or generally not being able to express yourself. It was the same for '90s kids and their posters. Yes, we felt actually shy about approaching posters. You can't make this stuff up.
6. Ridiculousness
The shyness came hand in hang with a feeling of utter ridiculousness. With knowing exactly how silly it was to form relationships with posters of pictures of people you had never, and would probably never, ever meet. Even as a child in the '90s you knew the whole celebrity worship thing was kind of ridiculous, and you bore that feeling through all your reckless celebrity crushes.
7. Longing
Kids of the '90s would spent a lot of time laying around thinking about their celebrity crushes and staring and their posters, longing for them to be real, to actually be people, and not just sheets of paper stuck to the wall.
8. Heartbreak
There was always the exquisitely painful moment where the full knowledge of your crush being a poster would settle in. When you really let yourself see the reality of the situation for what it was, you'd be heartbroken. Such was the life of a '90s kid in love with their collection of heartthrob posters.
9. Whimsy
But there was also the whimsical side. The part of you that thought it would be such a funny story to tell your grandchildren, that you used to have a poster of their grandfather stuck to your wall that you would kiss goodnight before bed at the end of each day. And then finally, you met him, fell in love, and well, the rest is history. For the really whimsical amongst us, we'd imagine our heartthrobs coming to life and literally stepping out of the poster and into our bedrooms.
10. Scandalousness
Scandal followed you everywhere if you were a '90s kid in love with the poster of a heartthrob. It was inescapable and oppressive, knowing that you were up to your eyeballs into some soap opera level drama. What would the headlines read when the world finally found out about your dirty little secret?
11. Attachment
Despite it all, you were awkwardly attached to your collection of heartthrob posters. Despite all the negative feelings, there was just no way you were ever going to give them up. No matter how awkward your obsession or your feelings got, those posters were yours, and they were staying on your walls to be awkwardly fawned over.
