When it comes to trying new sex positions, it's easy to feel exhausted or overwhelmed. If only because half of the sex positions out there can only be achieved by people with the flexibility of a ballerina and the strength of a power lifter — and personally, I have neither of those things. I have the repetitive strain injury of a television watcher and the butt of a television watcher, that's just who I am. So sometimes it's easy to avoid trying new things.
The problem with that, of course, is that your sex life can go stale. And once that happens, it's easy to feel like the relationship itself is going stale — and then comes the full-blown crisis. Luckily, if you avoid the positions that involve pulleys, levers, and yoga positions I've never even heard of, you can find plenty of positions that can help keep your relationship fresh without feeling like you might pull a hamstring. They're positions that either mix things up or help you reconnect and rediscover your partner, because a lot of times you just need to be shaken out of your rut for a moment to make everything look new again. And your relationship will be better for it.
In fact, a 1993 Stony Brook University study looked at 53 middle-aged couples and split them into groups — some of them tried new and exciting activities, while others just did pleasant activities they were already used to. After 10 weeks, guess who had higher relationship satisfaction? That's right, the new and exciting activities. And if you can't apply science to sex positions, what is science even for? So let's get trying some new ones.
Here are seven positions to keep your relationship fresh, because it's easier than it looks — and so totally worth it. Remember these positions work for two women as well:
1. Butterly
How To Do It: This is a difficult sex position, but worth it. Lay on the edge of the bed and rest your legs up on their chest — even better if you can hook your ankles over their shoulder for some leverage. Your partner scoots closer and enters you, while you arch your back and, with their hands on your hips for guidance, lift your hips off the bed. Too much? Try a pillow under you instead of all that straining.
Why It's Fresh: Because sometimes we zone out a bit during sex and get lost in our own world. But in this position, not only is it tricky enough to keep you engaged, you'll have an amazing view of each other, which helps you to spice things up and rediscover each other. Oh, and did I mention the room for clit play?
2. The Bridge
How To Do It: While you're in missionary, your partner shifts their weight backwards as you put your feet flat on the floor. Arch your hips up as moves they move upward. Then channel your inner pilates-enthusiast to hold in position.
Why It's Fresh: Another one that takes advantage of the great view, it also is a great position to move into from missionary. This means that it freshens up a classic sex position, without feeling like you need to do a total overhaul.
3. Kneeling
How To Do It: This is an easy one. One of you lays back, while the other gentle straddles your head. You can share control of the pressure or one of you can take charge. Great for fingering, cunnilingus, gay couples, straight couples — basically, everything.
Why It's Fresh: Um, because there's nothing quite so animalistic and "I can't keep my hands off of you" than someone sitting straight on your face. The fact that both of you have hands free for clitoral stimulation is just a bonus.
4. In A Chair
How To Do It: Another one that won't break your back. Your partner sits on a chair while you face away, then gently lower yourself onto them. Bump, grind, or bounce — just make sure you're enjoying all the fun stuff they can do with their hands.
Why It's Fresh: Because incorporating furniture let's you move sex to anywhere in the house — or just anywhere— which is hands down my favorite and the easiest way to reignite your sex life. Just make sure you have enough privacy.
5. Standing
How To Do It: Slowly. Spread your legs while your partner stands behind you, use some lube, and once they've successfully entered you, try bending down toward your toes. Too much? The wall is your friend, you can always lean against it.
Why It's Fresh: Because standing up sex requires focus, team work, and a hell of a lot of core strength. It's really a team effort, so you have to make sure you're connecting with your partner. You'll feel like you've achieved something together and gotten some really deep penetration, too.
6. Reverse Cowgirl
How To Do It: Take your favorite cowgirl and spin it around. Facing your partner's feet, you can lean forward or back on your hands for support, then bump and grind. They're getting a great view and your hands are free.
Why It's Fresh: Because there is no other position that makes you feel more like a rockstar. It's the ultimate "feeling yourself" position — plus your confidence and skill will grab their attention, too.
7. Doggy Style
How To Do It: With you on all fours, your partner comes from behind. You can put your knees closer together for a really tight fit or spread them to give them thrusting room. Either way, take advantage of your free hands.
Why It's Fresh: It's an old favorite position, but somehow never manages to feel boring. If you're looking for a way to freshen things up without pulling a muscle, get into doggy. Even better than the position's deep penetration and room for clitoral stimulation? There are about a million ways to mix it up, so you can even keep your doggy game fresh.
Images: Caroline Wurtzel/Bustle
