Life
These Things Were Just So Hard For '90s Kids
Only a '90s kid can truly appreciate all the good and bad things the decade had to offer. While we were fortunate to be the era of Push Pops, crop tops, and the best relationship goals ever (Jessica Simpson + Nick Lachey 4 life), there were also a few things that were hard for '90s kids. Like bowl cuts. That was the fad, and all the dudes had to have them... But I think deep down, we all knew they were ridiculous. Particularly when parted down the middle. Or when you'd pull a tuft of hair through the little hole in your backwards baseball cap. I don't understand that. At all.
But I've digressed.
We're a cool group, us '90s kids, because we know how to appreciate things. In fact, anytime Instagram goes down and today's youth experiences a cataclysmic meltdown, part of me breathes a sigh of relief, because now I don't feel obligated to take pictures of my breakfast.
The 90s weren't perfect, but they were darn near close. Not even today's bananas technology will top my memories of Skip-It and Don't Wake Daddy. Regardless, I will never forget the things that were really, really hard about growing up in the best decade ever.
1. This Nightmare
Any kid who said they could solve it was a liar, liar, pants on fire, hanging from a telephone wire.
2. Rationing Your Dunkaroos Frosting
You had to make sure you had enough for every cookie, and you always failed, and you always had to eat the last few cookies plain, and life sucked.
3. Dial-Up Internet
The only silver lining of slow internet was that you had enough time to go whip up a batch of Bagel Bites.
4. When The Customer Before You Didn't Rewind The VHS
All you wanted was to watch The Land Before Time in peace and now you can't because they didn't rewind and now THE ENDING IS RUINED.
5. Not Getting The Toy You Wanted In Your Cereal Box
You didn't even like this cereal. What a waste.
6. Losing A Piece To Your Pop-A-Point Pencil
Just give up already.
7. Having Only A Landline
"Megan, get off the phone. You can talk to Sarah about Saved By The Bell when you see her in school tomorrow." — My mom, every day.
8. Trying To Fit Your Discman In A Pocket
Surprise: It doesn't fit in any pocket!
9. Burning The Backs Of Your Thighs On A Metal Slide
Summertime meant losing the first 10 layers of skin on your legs, and kind of... sticking... on the way down.
10. Juice Box Straw Holes
Children have limited manual dexterity, and you expect us to fit that straw in that hole?
11. Not Destroying Your Fingers With One Of These Things
Running over your knuckles never felt good, but gosh darn it, those things were a blast.
12. Stepping On These
Not only did LEGO pieces put you in extraordinary amounts of pain, but they also broke the vacuum cleaner. The parental units were not pleased.
