There are tons of really solid reasons why women shouldn’t be afraid to use sex toys, especially in the bedroom. They lead to a better understanding of one’s body, as well as a more satisfying sex life, and despite the stereotype that says men are horror-movie-level terrified of your vibrator, a new study by LiveScience recently reported that 70 percent of men had no problem with them whatsoever, and all that intimidation is predominantly a myth.
That’s why I reached out to Sari Cooper, who is an AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist and a Licensed Psychotherapist; Cooper was more than willing to talk to me about the things people shouldn’t be afraid to try in bed, including some of the more intimidating sex toys that could give your sex life a serious boost. “Some people are concerned that their partner might take offense if they bring up sex toys,” she says, but with an introductory conversation and adequate time to get accustomed to them, she feels that toys in the bedroom can be really beneficial.
“The advantage of pushing against the edge of your comfort zone is that it creates a bit of mystery and erotic tension that may increase the passion in a relationship,” Cooper says. In fact, she runs a blog and web show about 'Sex Esteem' — a term she coined that’s all about helping people feel more confident in expressing their erotic interests without shame. If you’re looking to spice things up in the bedroom, check out these awesome sex toys that you definitely shouldn’t be afraid to try.
1. Minor Stimulation For Beginners
Utimi Silicone USB Ring Vibrator, $17, Amazon
For beginners, Cooper recommends starting off small: “Certainly small vibrators like a bullet or a vibrating cock ring allows a woman to have her clitoris and vulva stimulated during outercourse and intercourse respectively.” This Utimi silicone USB ring vibrator is a number one best seller because it provides stimulation for a male partner using the stretchy ring, and stimulation for the female with the bullet shape. It’s got seven different vibrational patterns, and it can be recharged with a USB port.
2. Enhance Sensitivity On Other Parts Of The Body
Rosebud Perfume Company Menthol & Eucalyptus Salve, $8, Amazon
Cooper said, “Menthol infused nipple balm could also be a good beginner enhancer for men and women who have sensitive erogenous-zone nipples.” This Rosebud Perfume Company menthol and eucalyptus salve can be used anywhere on the body to create a soothing and tingly sensation. It’s made with great ingredients like essential oils, and the menthol and peppermint really help to start things up.
3. For More Experienced Users, Try A Toy During Penetrative Sex
“Depending on how much experience a woman has had with toys, a toy like the We-Vibe might be an option to create pleasure with her male partner during penetrative sex,” said Cooper. It’s rechargeable, made from silicon, has nine functions, and can be used during intercourse, as it sits between the penis and vagina to provide a pleasurable pressure against the G-spot. This one’s also great for solo-play, or with same-sex couples.
4. Start Small With Anal Play
Naughty Plug Luxury Silicone Anal Trainer Butt Plug, $15, Amazon
“For people who haven’t explored anal play, a small anal butt plug might be a good way to experiment with this sensitive area,” Cooper says. This Naughty Plug luxury silicone anal trainer butt plug comes with three various sizes, all hypoallergenic and with a tapered tip for easy entry, so you and your partner can get used to the idea. “Reading up on how to slowly open up the anus is suggested,” Cooper says, “as the tissue is more sensitive than the vagina and can be torn more easily if it’s not primed for penetration with lube and massage.”
5. Give Bondage A Shot, But Talk About it First
Utimi Under the Bed Bondage Restraints System, $27 (Was $60), Amazon
“Couples have to talk carefully about power exchange or BDSM before embarking on this kind of play but if they’re both open to it and have set their safe word and limits, then I think it can be a great way to increase the erotic temperature,” Cooper says. She suggests trying out “toys that limit the senses, like blindfolds, rope or handcuffs.” The Utimi 'Under the Bed' bondage restraints system is an awesome starting point because it’s got ten pieces that cover all your bases, from ropes to cuffs. It’s also easy to use without altering your furniture, and it’s made from high-quality and durable materials.
6. Stimulate Your Tastebuds With Flavored Lube
Organic Intimate Citrus Burst Lubricant, $9, Amazon
Sari Cooper also suggests stimulating the senses with flavored lube, especially while blindfolded. This Organic Intimate citrus burst lubricant is made from great all-natural ingredients that taste like dessert and provide a smooth, non-staining lubrication for massages or intercourse. It’s water-based without any parabens, and reviewers say it helps to warm up the skin, too.
7. Open Up The Floor To Foreplay
Sexy Truth or Dare Sticks, $12, Amazon
“Sexy Truth or Dare Sticks has a nice design and opens up Sex Esteem® conversations with the ‘truth’ side and challenges couples to new experiences with the ‘dare’ side,” Cooper says. They’re a great way to prompt a little foreplay between couples because they feature 100 seductions filled with awesome ideas and exciting suggestions, and the stick-design and cute case make it convenient to play.
8. Overcome Painful Or Uncomfortable Positions With A Wedge
Liberator Wedge Intimate Positioning Pillow, $80, Amazon
“People sometimes avoid oral sex or certain positions for penetrative sex due to physical discomfort or downright injuries they have,” Cooper says. “The wedge can help support a neck while giving oral sex, or a lower back for deeper penetration and G-spot or anal prostate stimulation.” Liberator's wedge positioning pillow is an awesome option when it comes to re-opening some of those doors, as it creates the type of comfort and support that takes the weight off while performing various sexual positions. It’s also got a removable cover that can be washed in the machine.
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Images: Andrew Zaeh/Bustle; Amazon (8)
