Just in case you weren't feeling inadequate enough today, The Telegraph reports that a speed-reading 10-year-old will be the first to review Harry Potter and the Cursed Child , thanks to a challenge set by Amazon. As a speed reader, I have a lot of feelings about this, y'all.
If you find yourself harboring some sort of ill-will against a 4th grader, know that you can't hate him after you've seen him. Toby L'Estrange — great name, by the way — looks like Harry and Ginny had a little ginger son. Seriously, if Lily Luna Potter had been a boy, she would have looked something like this little reading prodigy.
L'Estrange developed his notable speed-reading skills with advice from his grandmother, Susan Norman, a speed-reading coach. Harry Potter and the Cursed Child will download to the 10-year-old's Kindle when it releases at midnight, and he will post his review to Amazon as soon as he's done. L'Estrange promises his review will be spoiler-free, so you've got no worries if you want to constantly refresh the Harry Potter play's Amazon page in anticipation.
The best part of it all is that L'Estrange is a real Potterhead. He finished reading all of J.K. Rowling's magical series by the age of 8 — the age when most of us were just starting Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone — and he can recite every spell, which will undoubtedly come in handy whenever "Harry Potter Go" finally becomes a thing.
Note: if you're aiming to beat L'Estrange to the punch, you'd better hope he types slowly. He can read 400 pages in under two hours, which means you can expect him to finish reading the 300-page Harry Potter play script somewhere around 1 A.M. I have no idea how fast he types, but I'd expect his review of Harry Potter and the Cursed Child to appear no later than 2 A.M.
Also, don't try to beat a 10-year-old at a reading challenge. That just makes you a jerk. It's like not answering a toy telephone when a toddler hands it to you.
Harry Potter and the Cursed Child has already become a bestseller, holding the No. 1 spot on both Amazon and Barnes and Noble. The Harry Potter play script will be available on July 31.
Images: Courtesy of Amazon and Mikael Buck.