If Daniel Radcliffe is jockeying for a spot in the upcoming Star Wars (and it turns out he is), the obvious question is: Where does the rest of the Harry Potter cast fit in? Because Radcliffe is nothing without his Hermione and Ron, plus we all know Hagrid is a shoe-in for Chewbacca. So let's get started!
Luke Skywalker: Harry Potter
Both are less attractive than their sidekicks (GINGER MADNESS UP IN HERE), yet somehow remain leading men. Both also have moments of self-effacing whininess, and I feel like a prominent scar on your face is equivalent to losing an arm, so case closed.
Han Solo: Ron Weasley
Both are significantly more awesome than the leading men, and both end up getting the girl. (Although, admittedly, Luke getting the girl would make Star Wars infinitely creepier.) Let me take this sort of unrelated opportunity to say: Rupert Grint, you can take me for a ride in your ice cream truck aaaanytime (creepiness intended).
Leia Organa: Hermione Granger
What is there to say? It's hard to fit Hermione's uptight princess act in elsewhere. Bet Harry Potter would have done even better than it did if they'd chained Hermione in a bikini to Fluffy and made the boy save her. Just sayin'.
Chewbacca: Hagrid
'ELLO 'ARRY! Both are hairy, large and gentle-hearted. Funny, when i put it like that, this duo sort of sound like my boyfriend. Ah well, Hagrid was the unsung heartthrob of the Harry Potter movies anyway... right?
Yoda: Dobby
Both are wrinkly, green, wise, and out to protect the at-time idiotic main character. Only difference is that Yoda has a light saber... Dobby doesn't even have pants.
C-3PO: Neville Longbottom
Both are nervous, stuttering SECRET BADASSES. C-3PO might be made of metal but these two characters both serve as the cautious secondary characters, and we love 'em for it.
Obi Wan Kenobi: Dumbledore
The resemblance here is simple: I cried like a spanked baby when both of these sage characters died. I'm tearing even thinking about them *sob* .
Darth Vader: Draco Malfoy
Both are hardcore baddies who have a soft change of heart right towards the end. Also both are as pale as the day is long, does evil have a negative impact on melanin?
Emperor Palpatine/Darth Sidious: Voldemort
DADDY OF ALL EVIL. Both wear hoods, speak in weird voices and have awkward muddled facial features. Practically twins!
Darth Maul: Lucius Malfoy
These guys are the respective bitches, er, i mean right-hand men of the really evil guys. However, let it be said that between the two, Lucius is swagging it out a lot harder — difficult to work the "elegant and evil" look when your head makes you look like a wannabe Juggalo.
I could do this match-the-character game all night, but a girl's got to sleep, when else will she be able to dream sweetly of Ron/Han flying her off in a combination space ship and broom? Nowhere, that's where.
