24 Things You Missed In 'Addams Family Values'

As the Internet’s token goth girl, I‘ve watched the early ‘90s Addams Family movies more times that I can count. I mean, suffice to say The Addams Family is a perennial Halloween classic, but the sequel, The Addams Family Values, is a special kind of monster. Yes, it features the usual creepy/kooky/mysterious/spooky antics of the fabulous fam, but it’s also partially set against the backdrop of camp... an unexpected summer movie that becomes stranger every time you watch it.

To backtrack on the plot, The Addams Family Values focuses on a divergence between the gang: Fester falls for Black Widow Debbie Jellinsky, the new nanny to newborn baby Pubert. Debbie, determined to off Fester and claim his inheritance, cuts him off from the other Addams’. The children are sent off to an incredibly Aryan summer camp where Wednesday has an adorable romance with a young David Krumholtz, while Gomez and Morticia suffer from seeing Pubert fall ill due to Fester’s absence. Will the family be able to reunite before Fester’s dies hideously and Pubert develops dimples?

I mean, you know the answer to that: nobody bests the Addams Family. But for your own amusement, here are all the things you may not have considered about The Addams Family Values.

1. Transparently A Painted Moon

Which I mean, duh, but that's probably something I didn't consider when I was 9.

2. Morticia Still Looks Like a Fox In The Throws Of Labor

I really need to know what make-up primer she uses, too, not a smudge in sight.

3. Gomez And Morticia Are Straight-Up With Their Children About Where Babies Come From, Proving That The Value Honesty And Sex Education Alike

Parents of the century, TBH.

4. The Addams Family Mustache

My problem isn't that it's on this newborn's face, just that they found the time to shave it in the middle (or does it grow like that).

5. Wednesday And Pugsley Are Sawing This Banister, But To What Point And Purpose?

Initially, I thought it was to have the stairs collapse, but really it would only make the rain collapse, which is just like... inconvenient. I guess they don't always have to be accomplishing something with their random acts of chaos, but every once and a while I just don't understand what's going on.

6. Why Is Grandmama Knitting This Several-Leg Sweater For The Baby?

Moriticia breaks this out at the end of the last movie as a partial homage to the original Addams Family comics, but it's kind of a weird move here. We already know Pubert doesn't have any leg mutations, unless that's something on the Frump side that we expect him to grow into.

7. This Marie Antoinette Costume Seems Fairly Historically Accurate, All Things Considered

The really diminished her to plainclothes before her execution, so snaps to the Addams kids for recognizing that.

8. God, Miranda Really Didn't Come Into Her Own Until Season 5 Of Sex And The City

Dark days.

9. What's With This Weird Serial Killer Thing Of Keeping Magazine Clippings Of Your Next Victim?

I'm sure that's something I can Google, but it just seems a little careless to have it all lying out here. You don't want to risk showcasing your crazy to your clients, after all.

10. The Amount Of Effort It Must've Taken Wednesday To Camouflage Herself

It seems a little unnecessary, given how many secret passages and places to hide there are in the household.

11. Goth Girl Trope Codifier Wednesday Actually Wears Red, Not Black, Nail Polish

This is something I never took note of before, but I think it's an important detail that a) shows how much she takes after Morticia and b) should be incorporated in your next Halloween costume.

12. They Just Sent The Kids To The National Convention Of Young Republicans, Didn't They?

Terrifying.

13. How Exactly Are Wednesday, Pugsley, And Joel Able To Get Away With Not Wearing What Seems To Be Regulation Swimsuits

Of course, it may just be that the kids all own the same one and clearly this scene is meant to highlight the trio's nonconformity. Regardless.

14. Morticia's Side-Eye When Fester Remarks That He Took A Bath

This woman gives impeccable shade.

15. Margaret's Son With Tully Is Just Nowhere To Be Found Here, Isn't That Suspicious?

I know she ran away with Cousin Itt and started this new family, but where is that kid? Tully's six feet under, so he's not with him... I hope.

16. It Doesn't Really Make Sense That Wednesday Would End Up With The Bouquet Given That She Doesn't Look Like She's Grabbing For It

It's also not the kind of thing you shove into the hands of a 12-year-old.

17. Debbie Looks As If She Pulls Out The Plug Before She Throws The Radio Into The Water, But Then, When Fester's Getting Electrocuted, It's Plugged In, As It Should Be If You're Electrocuting Someone

Not that I've tried or anything.

18. Is It Not Low-Key Concerning That Someone — An Unnamed Someone — Is Mailing Joel Serial Killer Collectors Cards?

Maybe not in the context of this film, but independently.

19. Product Placement

A film can only be so perfect...

20. Why Are They Putting On A Thanksgiving Play In The Summertime?

I need a stronger explanation beyond, "Because they're awful."

21. Also 99.9 Percent Sure Pocahontas Had Nothing To Do With That Gathering, But I Think That's Part Of The Joke

I hope that's part of the joke.

22. "Fester? Where Is Fester?"

Gomez, you did not become blind because your brother moved out, stop being such a drama queen.

23. Debbie Clearly Never Picked Up The Primer That Morticia Uses

Those are some crazed lids right there.

24. And What The Hell, Did The Addams Family Let Joel Borrow A Mustache?

Did they just rip it off some spare relative and give it to him?

Actually...

Probably.

Images: Paramount Pictures (27)