Calvin Harris Declares He's "Sexy & Free"

We have all done some questionable things after a breakup. Like, for instance, after my breakup, I got shaggy front bangs. But this isn't about me. You know, other than the fact that Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris' breakup threw me for a loop and ever since the news broke I've been monitoring their social media accounts like it's my job. Well, actually, I guess it kind of is... And in my latest look through their accounts, I found that thanks to the help of Jessie J's pop hit "Domino", Calvin Harris took to Snapchat to declare himself both "sexy and free."

How does that saying go again? Something about looking like a duck, walking like a duck, doing other duck-like things... means that the subject in question is a duck? Going off that logic, does posting a Snapchat video playing "Domino" and a subsequent video asking if anyone is "Feeling sexy and free today?" and then professing "I am!" while also, allegedly, telling an Instagram follower that you are, "not jealous, but FREE" in regards to your recent breakup mean that you were Snapchatting about said recent breakup? Because, I think maybe it does.

Bustle has reached out to Harris' rep regarding the alleged Instagram comments, but has not yet heard back.

If you aren't on Snapchat or you just think that Harris has a reignited passion for Jessie J songs that debuted in 2011, let me explain the suspicious timing of usage of the term "free."

This is how his Snapchat story on Thursday unfolded.

First, Harris Posted A Picture Of His Breakfast, With A Salty Caption... For Taste

Man, now I want an omelet.

Then, He Posted This Video Of Himself Walking Down These Steps, Saying...

"The steps of success — f*ck you!" Which is... aggressive.

But He Quickly Clarified With This Video Of A Picturesque Backyard

In it, he said in a jovial tone,"Just kidding, I f*cking love you. I’ve got a new song out in a couple hours with Dizzee Rascal its called "Hype"...UK vibe."

Then... Then He Played The Song

But, not the whole song. Just five incredibly telling lyrics. *Cue Jessie J singing, "I'm feeling sexy and free..."* OK, Calvin. OK.

After, He Reiterated The Sentiment

He asked, to no one in particular except perhaps the inflatable swans, "Who else is feeling sexy and free today man? I am!"

Side note: The irony of the appearance of that similar inflatable swan that both Harris and Swift were pictured on in their heyday does not escape me.

And Then, He Juxtaposed That Strange Combo Of Scenic Pics, Jessie J, And Expletive Laced Vids With This Serene Snap

He told his Snapchat audience, "Well thats it. I hope you enjoyed today's motivational talk. Tune in for more." So, yeah.

If that still doesn't convince you this Snapchat story, or at least some of it, was probably about Swift, I present to you the Instagram comment in question that makes this puzzle, in my opinion, complete:

Please refer to the third comment down and then feast your eyes on what is claimed to be Harris' candid response.

Another Instagram user wrote, "I know you're jealous of Taylor now because she's moved on and found a new boyfriend that's why you wore those shoes." The shoes he's referring to are the Yeezy's that Harris was seen rocking after the breakup. A questionable choice considering Kanye West and Swift's sordid public on again, off again feud. Harris then allegedly responded back with the aforementioned kicker, "Not jealous sir, FREE." To give him the benefit of the doubt though, a source apparently told E! Online that he wasn't the one commenting. And, E! Online reported that the comments were deleted.

Here's the thing, if Harris did, in fact, make those quips, the site notes that he did so on Thursday, which is the very same day that these snaps were taken. And if he didn't make the comments, perhaps he heard about them or saw them and still wanted to play off of the whole thing. Timing is everything. *Pounds gavel* I rest my case.

Images: Calvin Harris/Snapchat