If you feel like your relationship is a totally different one than it was when you started out however many years ago, you’re right — it is. Things fall into a routine, and it gets harder to seduce your partner in a long-term relationship. What gives? Why are we brushing our teeth side by side in the mirror, entirely naked, with little to no sexual tension whatsoever? How do you reignite the romantic spark?
Not to ruin the magic that is true love, but scientists have found that it’s just as much about brain chemistry as anything else. When you first start dating, the butterflies, racing heart, and sweaty hands are a result of dopamine and norepinephrine, which is what creates that addicted and infatuated feeling. When you’ve been together a while, these things wear off, but being with your partner (both physically and sexually) prompts the release of oxytocin and vasopressin, which are responsible for attachment and bonding — the reason you feel safe, protected, and comfortable in the presence of your S.O., even years later.
Still, no matter how long you’ve been with your boyfriend or girlfriend, there are ways to hack those hormones to keep the passion and sexual tension alive. All you have to do to master the art of seduction is practice some dopamine- and norepinephrine-prompting habits.
Dress Up For The Occasion
Avidlove Women Lingerie One Piece Halter (Sizes S-XXL), $9-$12, Amazon
When you’re comfortable around someone, it’s easy to fall into a routine of sweats and T-shirts — and there’s nothing wrong with that. But sometimes, changing into a special outfit for the occasion helps you to get excited, and helps your partner to get the hint. This Avidlove one piece halter is rated so highly because it’s super comfortable, extra sexy, beautifully made, and comes in five different colors and sizes. Reviewers say it’s a great fit and a great way to spice up your at-home date night.
... Or Instead of Changing Into Something, Wear It Beneath Your Look The Whole Time
Carnival Full Figure Lace Torsolette (Sizes 32A-48DDD) , $14-$68, Amazon
Instead of leaving the room to change, try sporting a gorgeous longline bra piece you can wear beneath your date night look. This one is a great choice because its underwire offers the same support you'd get from a regular bra, but pretty lace paneling adds a little something extra. One fan said she wore this piece as wedding lingerie, and that the cups were sized well, while the band was snug enough to feel secure but completely comfortable.
Utilize The Art Of Surprise
101 Nights of Great Sex , $18, Amazon
In order to avoid routine, it’s important to get comfortable with uncertainty. If you’re in need of a little creative help, there’s 101 Nights of Great Sex. It’s a playbook filled with anticipation and seduction for the both of you, and because the book comes with 101 steamy envelopes, you’ll find that both you and your partner are stepping out of your comfort zone more and more each day. Each new challenge comes with increased excitement and pleasure, and even reviewers that’ve been married for over 20 years say that they found that spark again.
Take Control For The Night
Kingoudoor Under Bed Restraint Cuffs , $18, Amazon
Your relationship should always be equal, but there’s something very trusting and seductive about consensually taking control for the night. These Kingoudoor restraint cuffs fit right under your mattress to keep your partner’s ankles and wrists occupied, and they’re made from a comfortable, durable material that’s entirely adjustable. Reviewers say it’s their go-to restraint set because it’s easy to get the hang of and tons of fun.
…Or Give Your Control Away
Rechargeable Wireless Remote Control Vibrator , $40, Amazon
Allowing your partner to take charge can arguably be one of the hottest things for both of you, and this rechargeable wireless remote control vibrator can be worn anywhere, anytime. The bullet is made from a soft, medical-grade silicon, and the remote control works from up to 30 feet away. Because it’s rechargeable, you won’t have to worry about batteries, and it’s also got seven different vibration modes and is entirely waterproof.
Plan An X-Rated Game Night
A simple board game might be just what you need to get the ball rolling. This XXXopoly game is a play on everyone’s favorite, but instead of purchasing property, each purchased space has various foreplay acts and teasing techniques. It’s also got an erotic investment chest and Hot and Heavy cards, all of which add up to a night of X-rated fun for the both of you. One person comments, “There’s a short version, but good luck actually playing it for long.”
Pretend To Be Someone Else For A Night
131 Sex Games & Erotic Role Plays for Couples , $8, Amazon
Imagination is a wonderful thing, and the mere act of roleplaying helps add a little creativity back into your love life. If you’re not sure where to start, this 131 Sex Games & Erotic Role Plays for Couples comes with suggestions, scenarios, and interesting ideas. It’s written by sex therapist Elizabeth Cramer, who’s authored several best-selling sexual education books, and reviewers are really happy with it. One says, “As with all relationships, sometimes the sex can get a little boring, or basic… But my partner and I read through this together and absolutely had to try some of these situations out.”
Ignite The Senses With A Spa-Level Massage
Royal Massage Clamshell Hot Stone Heater , $40, Amazon
Long-term couples tend to skip the foreplay and go right into things, but touching is imperative for great sex because it increases oxytocin (the “love” hormone), as well as prepares the body for intercourse and increases pleasure. This Royal Massage clamshell hot stone heater adds something special to your everyday touching, as it helps you perform a hot stone massage safety at home without any hassle. The stones promote relaxation, circulation, and feel incredible along your spine, and this clamshell case heats up to a safe temperature while staying cool on the outside. This set comes with four stones, but can fit up to ten.
Take A Trip Together
World's Best Cities , $26, Amazon
Being in a new and exciting place with your partner is a great way to up the sexual tension, and that’s why vacation sex is the best sex. This World's Best Cities is an awesome way to get inspired — it covers 225 cities around the globe, complete with fun facts, narratives, and beautiful photographs to help you choose your next couples’ destination. It breaks locations down into categories, like eco-friendly cities, foodie cities, and happiest cities, and highlights the most interesting spots in each, so you can get planning, and when you’re done having the best sex of your life, you’ll look super cultured with this lying on your coffee table.
Try Something A Little Daring
Luxury Heavy Duty Indoor Swing , $50, Amazon
Angles can make all the difference, and doing something outside of your comfort zone increases adrenalin levels, which leads to better, more exciting sex. This luxury heavy duty indoor swing can hold up to 300 pounds, and makes it possible to perform all the positions you never even dreamed of with ease. Its triangle steel frame, swing belts, and spring anchor are extra-strong and comfortable, and all you have to do to get started is mount the anchor on the ceiling and start defying gravity. When company comes over, the swing clips off, leaving only the hook. What? It’s for hanging plants.
Bustle may receive a portion of sales from products purchased from this article, which was created independently from Bustle's editorial and sales departments.
Images: Fotolia (1); Amazon (9)
