Taylor & Calvin's Breakup Isn't About The Music

The news is still fresh, so I totally understand if it was painful for you to wake up and remember that the Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris breakup wasn't just a bad dream. Although neither half of my (former) favorite celebrity couple has confirmed the news, People reports that after 15 beautiful months together, this adorable relationship is officially no more. After word got out, people immediately flocked to social media to talk about their feelings. I'm super bummed, so I've agreed with a lot of the reactions that fellow fans have had... except for one. Talking about how good Swift's next album will be because of this breakup is the wrong reaction to have, regardless of what music this breakup inspires.

It's not that I don't understand why Swift's music would come to mind at a time like this, because I do. Some of my favorite songs she's ever written (like "All Too Well") have been the product of the emotions she's felt after the end of a relationship that was meaningful to her. But hearing people talk about how good her future music will be is just an echo of that time where people thought it was acceptable to shame her for writing songs about her past loves. Her breakup with Harris isn't fodder for her next album, it's a real life relationship that has come to an end.

It's not OK to perpetuate the idea that Swift dates for her music, and that's exactly what these types of comments are doing. I mean,"Blank Space" was a good music video, but it's not real life. Swift doesn't date for the express purpose of getting new material to write and sing about. That concept is too ridiculous to entertain, so it bothers me that people think that way. And I have a feeling it bothers her too, because she didn't date for years after her love life became a punchline. In April, she told Vogue:

You know, I went out on a normal amount of dates in my early 20s, and I got absolutely slaughtered for it. And it took a lot of hard work and altering my decision-making. I didn’t date for two and a half years. Should I have had to do that? No.

Does this sound like someone who's dating in order to get inspiration for her music? I don't think so. Does she create awesome music after she's worked through something really difficult? Yes. But the same thing happens to everyone who has ever been in a relationship ever. We may not all write music about it, but we do all process it in our own ways and we learn and grow from that experience. Let's leave her career out of this, because it really shouldn't have anything to do with her personal life — especially not as it's happening in real time. Maybe she'll decide to share the details in her music in the future. Maybe she won't. It doesn't matter. It's her decision.

Swift and Harris were adorable together, and it was the first time she's ever addressed a relationship this openly. Despite what the rampant rumors say, she usually keeps her relationships private, so the fact that she was willing to discuss Harris in interviews and share photos with him on Instagram tells me their relationship had to have been pretty strong and was going really well for her to do that. Instead of thinking about her music, I'm thinking about how much it must suck for her that this is over. No matter how relationships end, it almost always sucks. And right now, I'd rather give her a hug than hear the songs that what she's feeling right now could inspire.

If you ask me (and the Grammy association), Swift's music has always been good, regardless of her relationship status. That is a given. I just hope right now she takes all the time she needs... and maybe stays of Twitter for now. And to the rest of you who are struggling like I am, take heed: Swift will love again someday, and eventually, the rest of us will be able to make peace with this awful news, too.