Why Seth Cohen Was Basically A Philosopher

If you're anything like me then you probably find yourself returning to the sunshine melodrama of The O.C. whenever life tends to get a bit rocky. It has all the answers you could ever need about life, such as, "How do I get my dream-babe to like me?" Also, "Are Death Cab For Cutie really that good a band?" And let's not forget, "How many fist-fights can I possibly get into at parties before the local community just stops inviting me?" It's an eye-opening resource of a show, that's for sure, and for the awkward, nerdy and eternal-pessimists amongst us The O.C. also gave us Seth Cohen, who was a hero we could lovingly believe in. And, man, his philosophical insights on the world could get deep and as a result the show is packed full of Seth Cohen quotes which still hold up as melancholic mantras for the slightly misanthropic.

Cohen's personality shared many traits of philosophical heroes of time gone past; he's a die-hard romantic, an idealist ruined by pessimism, neurotic to the brink of being ever so slightly insane and smart as a whip. So, it's no surprise to discover that many of his words still hold up as being deeply meaningful, helpful, and existential wonders, ranging from such important topics as life, love, the universe, and pizza.

Pour yourself a tall cup of coffee and smear up a bagel, because we're about to get schooled, Cohen style:

1. On The Basics Of Philosophy

And as I'm sure we're all aware, the longer the beard, the wiser the man.

2. The Mantra Of The Socially Awkward Misfit

Incidentally, this is also why I hate going to the beach in the middle of summer.

3. On The Peculiar Designs Of Destiny

Destiny is one thing, but true love? It's being willing to share the last burrito available on Earth (or, you know, from the burrito van down the road. Whatever).

4. On The Virtues Of Being Blissfully Oblivious

There's a time and a place for whipped cream, and 95 times out of a 100 that place is on a cake, and that time is always.

5. On Expressing Your Inner Monologue

You've really got to applaud a man who only has two terrible ideas at his disposal, but still has a desire to see them through. Well, applaud or pity.

6. On The Absurdities Of Life

Sometimes, you just have to believe in something strong enough for it to become a reality. Right, ottoman? You obscure bedroom staple, you.

7. On Feeling Lost

Oh, Cohen. Just keep swimming.

8. On Life, The World, & The Universe

Same. If it isn't pollen that's irritating you to your absolute core, then it could well just be life.

9. On Sleep Being The Baby Mama Of Death

Who needs it, right? All the great philosophers knew that a single micro-nap once a week was all that a healthy human being needed to function at 10 percent of their capabilities.

10. On The Beauty Of A Blue Screen

Ah, the underrated zen of a dysfunctional television set.

11. On Family

Don't forget the famous Cohen bagels, Seth.

12. On Deprivation Of The Senses

This one goes out to everyone who will find themselves on a camping trip over the summer, sulking over granola bars and dreaming desperately of an extra large stuffed crust pizza. I feel your pain.

13. On Maintaining Your Boundaries

People are way too frisky these days.

14. On The Delights Of Pained Love

So much pain, so much pining, so much waiting on something to be reciprocated any second of every day. Who doesn't love that? Actually, on second thoughts, total heartbreak could definitely be a lot more fun.

15. On Always Seeing The Sunny Side

Stress can do strange things to people. It can drive you to comfort eat entire tubes of Pringles, down entire bottles of wine, and, according to Cohen, it can also help to make things sexy. For the record, this was definitely not the case when I was trying to finish my college dissertation and resorted to wearing the same pair of sweatpants for an entire week. No, sir.

Any colleges interested in setting up a "Cohen 101" philosophy class? Because I gotta tell you, I would sign up for it in a second.

Images: Warner. Bros Television (14); Giphy (2)