Lauren Conrad Can Solve These 'Hills' Mysteries

Breakout your waterproof mascara because Lauren Conrad's returning to MTV. To commemorate the 10th anniversary The Hills, aka everyone's most cherished MTV reality series, Conrad announced that she'll be coming back to give viewers a "firsthand look" at her life today — post-reality show. The Hills: That Was Then, This is Now will also include some reveals — i.e. secrets about the inner workings of the show, what it was like to film, intel on Justin Bobby etc. (Al lright, not sure about Justin Bobby thing, but fingers crossed.) On top of this, the special will be answering "all the questions the audience is dying to know along the way" — which is a bold, bold promise.

When The Hills ended, I — and I believe the rest of the population who watched — had a sense that too many things were left unwritten. Even though, given the premise of the show, we all should have seen that ending coming, the lack of clarity still still stings a little. Not as much as having your best friend spread sex tape rumors about you, but still. So, in honor of LC's long-awaited return to the network that catapulted her career and introduced us to the wonders of having borderline inappropriate emotional ties with reality TV, here are 26 necessary questions that The Hills : That Was Then, This is Now needs to answer.

1. How Many Headbands Did LC Wear Throughout The Seasons?

I'd ballpark approximately 3,000.

2. Where Is Heidi's Ex — Jordan — Now?

Hope he's doing well. Sending my best.

3. Does He Have Her Dog?

Same to her.

4. Why Weren't There Other Teen Vogue Interns?

Seems shady.

5. What Were They Drinking At Les Deux?

It was probs just soda, right?

6. How Did LC Afford Her Apartment?

Like, on an intern "salary?"

7. Is Love A Maybe Thing?

I think about this all the time.

8. Why Did Spencer Tag His Own Wall?

I just feel like this was a little dramatic.

9. Why Isn't Whitney Referred To As "The Girl Who Went To Paris?"

I mean, she went. We saw her suitcase and everything.

10. Did Elodie Finally Get Her Deserved Promotion?

No offense Heidi, but Elodie really deserved that fake promotion.

11. Is Kelly Cutrone Actually Super Nice IRL?

Could be, could be.

12. How's Darlene?

I was always mad worried about Heidi's mom, Darlene.

13. Where is Enzo Right Now?

He's probably a full grown adult person at this time.

14. Is Stacie "The Bartender" Still A Bartender?

TBD.

15. Justin Bobby?

That's it. I just want to know more about him.

16. No, But Really, Does He Still Wear Combat Boots To The Beach?

Homeboy.

17. Does Heidi Know What She Did?

Wondering if she ever figured it out.

18. Has Lauren Forgotten?

And how did she do it?

19. OK Honestly, Was It Real Or Fake? Or Both? Or Neither?

Just level with us. MY HEAD. IT SPINS.

Hopefully we'll get some of these answered when this mysterious special premieres Tuesday, August 2.

Images: MTV (8); Giphy (12)