I’ll never understand how being single and not dating anyone got such a bad rap. Personally, I’ve always felt my best when I’m single and doing my own thing. I don’t have to deal with emotional attachments, drama, the obligation to compromise, and damn, I love not having to sharing my bed. I also find great satisfaction in being single. I am my own person, my own woman, and I have complete control over every aspect of my life. These are good things. Even when I was married there were parts of me that missed the single me, because when I’m single I flourish. And I believe anyone can flourish when they’re single, if they look at it the right way.
Being single is now more common than ever. According the 2014 Bureau of Labor Statistics, singles make up 50.2 percent of adults living in the U.S. — the highest percentage ever. And a Gallup poll from that same year found that of the 18- to 29-year-old age range, 64 percent are single. So while society may put quite a bit of focus on how to make yourself un-single, the reality is that tons of people are living and loving the single life.
While being in love can be fantastic and sexy and fun, so can being single. Here are 11 reasons why being single is sexy AF. But first, check out the latest episode of Bustle's Sex and Relationships podcast, I Want It That Way:
1. Independence Is Sexy
Although you can be independent in a relationship, being single is also the perfect opportunity to explore your independence. You have no need to rely on anyone else and you get to do things your way, whenever and however you want.
2. Realizing You’re Wearing That Lace Underwear For Only You Is Sexy
I’m a firm believer that every day of the week, whether or not I’m in a relationship, is sexy underwear day. Why? Because wearing sexy underwear makes me feel sexy and confident. It doesn’t matter if I’m the only one who gets to see it.
3. Sexual Freedom Is Sexy
You can lock lips with whomever you want, you can take the hot bartender home if you want, you can have a fling with your sexy coworker — the choice is yours. And it's in having these options and experiences that you own your sexuality, which is a great thing.
4. Taking Yourself On Fancy Dates Is Sexy
I love dating myself! I take myself on the best dates! (Far better dates than most men I’ve dated.) I’ve also learned to become fearless about going to a fancy restaurant alone on a Friday night. I just order champagne and not let any insecurity about rolling solo in such a place on what’s considered a “date night,” bother me.
5. Spending Your Money However You Want Is Sexy
Being financially independent? So sexy. Not only do you get to buy what you want, even opting to spoil yourself from time to time, but you get to do exciting things like invest it wisely and get your retirement account in order. Nothing is sexier than someone who has money for a rainy day and the funds so they can sit back and enjoy retirement.
6. Traveling Alone Is Sexy
First of all, I think anything that involves traveling is the best. But what makes it so sexy to travel alone is that you never know who you’ll meet. You get to broaden your world view, expand your understanding of other cultures, and maybe even meet someone in the process. If you don’t think lying on a beach in Southern Thailand when it’s 105 degrees while flirting with someone from England who’s just as charmed by your accent as you are by theirs, then it may be the time to check your frequent flier miles and get on that.
7. Immersing Yourself In Your Interests Is Sexy
Being single means having lots of time to do… whatever you want. Maybe it’s time to finally start writing that book or take a sculpture class or perhaps you’ve always wanted to collect stamps — as long as you’re doing what you want to do with your free time, that’s all that matters.
8. Having So Much Time To Explore Your Sexuality Is Sexy
We may learn about our sexuality by having sex with other people, but there are some very valuable lessons to be learned from masturbating. It’s when we’re alone with our bodies that we get to really discover what turns us on, gets us off, or makes us say, “no thanks; that’s not for me.” This definitely isn't to say that you can't do this when you're in a relationship — you most definitely should masturbate!
9. Making Plans For Your Future Is Sexy
Nothing says sexy like, "I’m super confident, I get sh*t done, and I have awesome plans for my future." Nothing.
10. Sleeping Alone Is Sexy
I realize that this one can be tough for some single people. Wanting to cuddle up with someone at night is totally understandable. I get that. But sleeping alone is both sexy and good for you. Picture it: You’re in a bed you don’t have to share, you’re wearing your sexiest PJs (flannel, cupcake print ones, of course), and you reach for your vibrator or a good book, and when you’re ready to go to sleep? Lights out. No need to sleep through someone else’s light because they’re still reading. It’s awesome.
11. Learning To Love Yourself Is Super Sexy
Although you can learn to love yourself while you’re in a relationship, we tend to grow the most when we just have ourselves to worry about and can focus on that. Loving yourself is an essential part of living your best life.
As Carrie Bradshaw said, “The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous." Can't argue with the sexiness in that.
Images: alvarez/E+/Getty Images; Giphy
