As many women can attest, once you hit the hallowed 3-0, sh*t gets real. Despite all the awesome, anti-ageist flag waving by feminists, pop culture still consumes young, dewy 18-year-olds like candy, and the message remains that post-20s, you're over-the-hill. In contrast to this widespread sexist drivel, however, a recent survey found that a majority of women feel sexiest at age 34.
Two thousand women participated in a survey by a British department store (women sure love to shop, amirite?) and on top of pinpointing the age of sexiest maximus, 64 percent of women listed their thirties as their most attractive decade because of increased body confidence that comes with age. Ideally, every woman would feel attractive and sexy throughout her life, but living in a world with the constant threat of body-shaming, slut-shaming, and sexual violence does take its toll.
As someone who dreaded turning 30 and made all kinds of goals to hit before then that were never realized, I know too well the highs and lows that come with entering this "adult" decade. Three years in, I have no idea what I was afraid of, because I've never felt better about my body and my sexuality. Although everyone's experience is different, here are seven reasons why I found my third decade to be hot AF. But first, check out our video on sex positions to last longer in bed:
1. You've Learned What Sexist BS You Won't Tolerate
After the sex and dating growing pains of your twenties, you've most likely learned what you really, really, hate in bed and in a relationship. For example, I used to find broke f*ckboys tolerable, put up with overhearing my ranking as "a 7 if I lost 10 pounds," and was OK with being told how to groom my pubic hair mid-sex. In my 30s, what you see is what you get, and I only accept those who respect my entire being and body, however I see fit to style it.
2. You've Practiced (S)expressing Yourself
Knowing what turns you on is one thing, but being able to express it is another. This is always a process, but by the time you've been around the block, verbalizing your desires gets easier (and hotter). Just open your mouth: if you try it, you might like it.
3. You Know That It's Never Too Late For Experimentation
The old saying that your one time for sexual experimentation is in college? Lies! All Lies. If anything, it's more fun to experiment once you've got a little more experience under your belt. If you spent your 20s learning what you don't like, your 30s can be a time to focus on all the new things that you never thought you'd like but actually turn out to feel fantastic.
4. You've Learned How To Dress For Sexcess
Thanks to the reigning body positive movement, the message of "wear whatever the hell makes you feel sexy" is winning. That means strapping yourself into latex lingerie or going braless under a baggy tee is all your prerogative, and by your 30s you've figured out which looks your prefer for a sexual pre-game.
5. You've Come Up With Your Own Unique Masturbation Style
If you first tried self-pleasure as a teen, by your 30s you're likely a master baiter and a titan of touching. Just as no two snowflakes are identical, no two people masturbate the same. Whether it includes a body pillow, a vibrator, a piece of fruit, or something I've never heard of, it's a beautiful thing to realize what makes your routine unique to you.
6. You Know That Sex In Your 30s Is Nothing Like Sex And The City
I'm now officially the same age as Carrie, Miranda, and Charlotte were when the series started, and am well aware that sex in your 30s is nothing like sex on Sex And The City . Bisexuality isn't just "a layover on the way to Gaytown," you're not less likely to get married if you have anal sex, not every man has a gilded penthouse, and who spends every weekend brunch recounting their sexploits? OK, wait, maybe there are some similarities after all...
7. You Know Your Worth Doesn't Depend On Your "Sexiness"
It's invigorating to feel sexy AF, but by the time you hit your 30s you've probably experienced months/years when you haven't felt sexy or like having sex — and that's completely normal. Women aren't one-dimensional sex robots, and our worth doesn't rely on a daily sexiness quotient. That realization might be the powerful of them all.
Images: Andrew Zaeh for Bustle; Giphy (7)
