You know when you lock eyes with someone at a party and you just know — you know — that the two of you are destined to be … friends? It might sound strange, but there are actually signs that give away the fact that someone should be your best friend.
"Each indication of friendship feeds off another one and acts as a catalyst propelling the friendship further and deeper, but perhaps unrecognizable as it happens,"dating expert Noah Van Hochman tells Bustle. In other words, it's as slow a process as your hair growing. "Basically, you wake up one morning and that person is your best friend. It’s kind of like a warm breeze, you don’t see it coming, but you certainly feel it when it does."
Maybe they're wearing the exact baseball cap for which you've been searching high and low for ages. Or the perfect casual-cool pair of black leather slides. Or that red lipstick in the shade you've hoped to find all your life. Or maybe they exude a sense of self-respect and dignity that you really vibe on. Or they have the nicest smile. Or perhaps they come off as being super good at giving a great pep talk on those Monday mornings when you're like, "hell to the no" when the alarm goes off.
Whatever the case may be, here are some odd signs that hint at the undeniable fact that someone should be your new BFFAEAE, because we definitely haven't met all of our best friends yet, y'all. Your new bestie might be right around the corner.
1. You Just Click
"When you are introduced to someone and you just click," relationship coach and psychic medium Melinda Carver tells Bustle. "You feel that you have known this person your whole life and that you are just continuing your conversation from another time," she says. It might feel almost magical to converse, and everything feels so right.
And if you start off this strong, things can only go up from there. "When people hit it off right away, there is a better chance that you will follow through in making plans to see them again," Carver says. "People like the familiar and comfortable, and when someone you meet feels good to be around, you will spend time with them, no matter where you are in this life." Truth!
2. You Trust Them With Your Most Embarrassing Secret
"If you feel you can really trust someone with your most embarrassing, shameful, super-secret feelings — and you want to because you feel good sharing with this person — they should be your best friend," New York–based relationship expert and author April Masini tells Bustle. Whether you just met or you've been hanging for a while, make sure to put them at the top of your priority list.
"When you trust someone and they bring out your layers, they’re special beyond what a normal friend is." Absolutely!
3. They Raise You Up
When a friend is there for you, you know you should be BFF. "They raise you up, rather than pull you down," zen psychotherapist and neuromarketing strategist Michele Paiva tells Bustle. "They don't use you like an emotional sponge, or focus on themselves only. They care about you and show it in word, action and attention." Besties!
4. You Laugh At The Same Jokes
"Similar senses of humor and similar required investment" are vital for a best-friendship, life coach Kali Rogers tells Bustle. "Having a similar sense of humor speaks for itself — you can't beat a good laugh with a friend," she says. "And having the same investment needs basically means you don't want to be friends with someone who requires way more energy and attention than you do." If you like someone to be around all the time, and so do they, perfect.
"If you're more independent, it's better if you're friends with someone who doesn't need you at their beck and call," Rogers adds.
5. They'd Bail You Out Of Jail
"When you think of who would bail you out of jail at 3 a.m., they immediately spring to mind," BetterHelp telehealth counselor and psychologist Nikki Martinez tells Bustle. If you find yourself in this sitch (god forbid!) and your pal pops in your head, perhaps you should consider becoming even closer friends. And this type of person shows up, too, she adds, going "to the things with you that no one would want to — they don't want too, but they are going to go so that you have a partner in crime, and a memory to share. If this is someone you find yourself with in your life, this is someone who you may not even be aware is quickly on their way to being your best friend." Yay!
6. You Call Them With Good News And Bad
"They are your first go-to when you get good news or bad news," Dr. Ramani Durvasula, author of Should I Stay or Should I Go: Surviving a Relationship With A Narcissist , tells Bustle. If you just got a promotion — or you found out a family member isn't doing well — who do you immediately want to reach out to? That's the person who should definitely be your BFF.
Should I Stay or Should I Go: Surviving a Relationship With a Narcissist , $17, Amazon
7. They're Loyal
Loyalty is often rated as the number-one best quality a close friend can have. If this person is "loyal," Tina B. Tessina, aka Dr. Romance, psychotherapist and author of Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences , tells Bustle, then you should certainly consider them for the slot of your best friend.
Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences , $13, Amazon
Like Rogers, Tessina points out that having lots in common — whether it be a sense of humor or other things — is important. If they like to do similar things along with being fiercely loyal, you have a good start.
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