Ranking 'TLOP' Songs By Their Kanye-ness

I’m in a weird phase of my life where all the guys I date are weirdly obsessed with Kanye West the way that — at risk of losing originality points — Kanye is obsessed with Kanye. Suffice to say the tracks off The Life Of Pablo have become background noise in my everyday life, and, even if I don’t 110 percent get the Kanye thing, I definitely get that Kanye is all about Kanye. And, I mean, that’s an evident fact to anyone who has ears, eyes, and an Internet connection, but it’s clear that Kanye really put a lot of Kanye in TLOP.

Well, what does that even mean? It means that, if you listen to the album (now streaming!), you’ll notice that Kanye not only injects plenty of literal references to his name, but also pretty much lets us know, in no uncertain terms, how him and his fame are getting along recently. Now, you could say that’s not particularly shocking, but it being unshocking makes it Classic Kanye. (Or would it be Klassic Kanye after marrying Kim Kardashian? The point is, there’s a lot of Kanye in Pablo.)

For proof, here is the amount of Kanye in each TLOP track... ranked.

19. "Frank's Track"

This is just over half a minute of Frank Ocean, so um, not very Kanye at all.

18. "Lowlights"

This is a woman's voice dominating, but, as a technicality, she doesn't get her own track. (I mean, there's no question that Frank got all 30+ seconds of "Frank's Track.") Thus, she this ranks slightly better.

17. "Fade"

This one is ambiguous enough where we can say that, at best, it's vaguely Kanye.

16. "30 Hours"

It sounds like Kanye is throwing shade on an ex, which feels pretty Kanye, but he'd really need to delve more into the specifics for it to be really Kanye.

15. "Waves"

"Waves" is a track that almost borders on chill so... not very Kanye, necessarily. Also, it didn't make the cut as the album title, so I'm keeping it here at 15.

14. "Freestyle 4"

Blah, blah, blah, the hedonism of fame. Where's that innovation, Kanye?

13. "Father Stretch My Hands Pt 1"

A lot more of the hedonism we see in "Freestyle 4," ranks higher because of that whole part about a model's bleached... well, you know.

12. "Father Stretch My Hands Pt 2"

Kanye confronts some family struggles here, and it's definitely some raw Kanye. Yet, you know, raw Kanye is a lot less interesting without all that flavoring.

11. "Wolves"

Kanye makes references to his mom and compares him and Kim to biblical figures, which is Klassic Kanye. Just, you know, not enough to make the top 10.

10. "FML"

Kanye addressing the haters? All in a day's work. It feels as though he's sharing the spotlight a lot on this one, though.

9. "Real Friends"

And hey, Kanye calling out the fakeness of Hollywood friendships seems very Kanye, too. He only divides the attention between him and Ty Dolla $ign on this one.

8. "Feedback"

Needless to say, Kanye is proud of his fame, and Kanye's pride in Kanye is quite Kanye.

7. "Highlights"

In this one, Kanye name-drops every famous person he associates with, and then reminds us he has 21 Grammys. So Kanye.

6. "Silver Surfer Intermission" (insert plentiful of "i's" where needed)

As a technicality, Kanye really isn't on this track so in theory it should rank much lower. But it's Max B calling up Yeezy about co-opting the "Waves" title for the album (which, again, didn't happen) and sending lots of love. Validated Kanye love = pretty Kanye.

5. "No More Parties In L.A."

There's a mention of being in Yeezys here. Kanyeception.

4. "Ultralight Beam"

Kanye gets real Christian here, which is fine and all, but, considering that Kanye is a God (as he is has claimed in songs before), I don't know if he's just referencing himself a lot. Extra Kanye points for the confusion.

3. "Facts (Charlie Heat Version)"

"Yeezy" is uttered ballpark 27 times here, but then you get Charlie Heat in the title, and the track only wins the bronze.

2. "Famous"

When Kanye drags Taylor Swift into things with that line, it's horrifying for a second... and then disturbingly very Kanye all at once.

1. "I Love Kanye"

Kanye saying Kanye 25 times, rapping about the fame and fandom surrounding Kanye, making meta jokes about loving Kanye as much as Kanye loves Kanye? It doesn't get any more Kanye than that.

Images: Giphy (19)