Elementary school was an exciting time for a lot of us, what with playground politics, budding hormones, the beginning of school dances, and the first of our childhood crushes. And what made a crush hot in our eyes? Other than their tether-ball skills, it was usually their '90s elementary school wardrobes.
The clothes your childhood crush wore were directly related to whether they got a note passed to them during Social Studies with a "check yes or no" question. If they were up with the hottest fashions and the most cutting-edge Mall Rat designs, then they probably made your heart do cartwheels. Or, if their moms' still picked out their wardrobes and wouldn't let them get the newest line of Sketchers, well, the heart's a fickle thing isn't it?
Elementary school was cut-throat and savage, and the field of love was no exception. So let's take a step back into our pasts and go back to the days of carpools and slumber parties, sweaty-palmed school dances, and giant binder folders. It's time to walk down memory lane and remember our greatest crushes and biggest loves, and break down what it was about their outfits made us love them so. Below are 11 things your elementary crush probably wore.
1. Wrap Around Sunglasses
X-Loop Wrap Around Sunglasses, $9, amazon.com
Probably stolen off of his big brother, or possibly pinched from the local drugstore, these sporty shades were in every School Crush Starter Kit. All he needed was a pair of baggy cargo shorts and a generous amount of hair gel, and you couldn't have put his trading-card-school-picture in your binder fast enough.
2. Hemp Necklaces
Hemp And Bead Necklace, $11, amazon.com
And if those sunnies were matched to his middle part bowl cut? You probably would've run into an open locker door because of all the walking-while-staring you were doing. Boy looked fly.
3. Side-Twisted-Visor
Sports Visor, $10, amazon.com
It was a political statement: He took his dad's golfing visor and turned it on its head in an anarchist, fight the man kind of way. God, who doesn't love a bad boy?
4. Striped Ski Sweaters
I'm still unsure as to how these became such a fashion statement, but it seemed like every man alive was wearing some version of them in the '90s. And their ghosts are still haunting us in thrift stores, hanging on those dollar racks all sad like and unwanted. Die demons, die.
5. Skate Tees
Neff Kenny Tshirt, $15, skatehut.com
Whether your boy actually knew how to do an olie or not, he definitely owned one of these. Because if he couldn't stand straight on a board, then the very least he could do were some mad flips on his Playstation. And that's all that matters. He was perfect in every way, OK. Don't judge.
6. Sketchers
Sketcher's Sport Men's Sneakers, $65, amazon.com
Let's throw it back to the days before Shape-Ups were a thing and made all teenage boys throw out their shoes in a show of masculinity.
And as of the gals:
7. 99 Percent Angel Shirt
There was something uncomfortably sexual about a 12-year-old wearing this. I'm going to choose to pretend that the "1 percent devil" bit was referring to how we sometimes didn't do our Social Studies homework as an act of anarchy.
8. Butterfly Clips
Sannysis Butterfly Clip, $2.65, amazon.com
You probably thought they were cute, but really these were part of a chaste system invented by 10-year-old girls to keep in check who ruled the school. The girl with the most wings on her head? She was the queen, and you should have never looked her directly in the eyes.
9. Tattoo Chokers
Choker Necklace, $3.50, amazon.com
Because she was hard like that, and you were attracted to a strong female presence.
10. Scrunchies
The bigger, the louder, and the head-eating-er the scrunchie was, the better.
11. A Skort
Coral Bay Pull On Skirt, $30, amazon.com
She was the perfect mix of tomboy and sweet: Not only did she look like she baked cookies with her mom every afternoon, but she could also jump into a killer cartwheel on the playground and race across the monkey bars with the rest of them. No wonder you were a goner.
Taking this trip down memory lane proves one thing: We had amazing taste in love interests. May the good times keep rolling.
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Images: ABC (1); Skate Hut (1); Spread Shirt (1); Amazon (8); Revolution Studios (1)
