I've always said I could never get a clit piercing because they would be so damn distracting I would never catch a bus, watch a movie, or leave my bed ever again. But some brave souls over at BuzzFeed decided to take the plunge and try vibrating underwear for a week, which must be at least as bad. That's right: a little bullet vibrator stuffed into your underwear that can be controlled through a remote by you or people around you? Sounds amazing and distracting and annoying and sexy— or all of these at once.
I'm all about new and exciting sex toys, because it means you can find the best sex toy for you. But some of the most playful (and potentially most ridiculous) options the ones that you can incorporate into your day-to-day life, like vibrating underwear. I don't know how practical they are, but they're certainly interesting.
Will you orgasm at the grocery store? Will you moan something deeply inappropriate while your friend cries about a breakup? (Although let's be real, I've basically done these things with no vibrator required.)
BuzzFeed made a video so we can finally see exactly what happens when you wear vibrating underwear for a week and if it lives up to expectations:
Here are the highlights:
The Preview
"Ah man, my vagina's clenching" is not how I would ever normally describe sex toys, but to each their own. Sweet, sweet clenching.
Past Experience
I like her, because when asked about sex toys, she says: "I'm kind of familiar with them." Like it's something she heard on the radio on time, or is brought up on a first date and you're trying to cover that you have no idea what the eff they're talking about.
Or this woman, who says "I don't really masturbate that often," which only makes me assume that she is the single most productive person in the world. She will cure cancer and world hunger and be president within in the next two days — what I imagine I could accomplish if I didn't masturbate.
Expectations
She imagines it will be: "like Indiana Jones but like, right in your vagina." Which makes me wonder a lot of things. Not the least of which is: what Indiana Jones have you been watching and where can I find it?
The Less Fun
While others thought it would be more like "when you fall in between your bike." Ouch.
The Reality
"You really shouldn't jump" ... because it falls out. It'll fall out when you play spots. And then, I imagine, you're there chasing a little vibrator around a sports field.
It's The Little Things
"It makes waiting for the bus nicer." I'll bet it does.
The Sanitation Issue
After a night in the underwear she's worried she might get a yeast infection... again. We've all been there, girl.
Giving Someone Else The Remote
They handed over the remotes to partners and co-workers and my favorite is this guy who said: "I made her cooch vibrate". His use of the world "cooch" makes me suspect that sexual satisfaction was not top of his list.
Too Much Fun
Playing with it around the office made them have too much fun to even stay in focus.
The Verdict?
"No one died." — according to this woman, who apparently has either had some pretty tragic sex toy mishaps in the past, or really, really didn't understand what the thing in her underwear was meant for. But for the most part? They all pretty much thought they were "good times all around," would make men irrelevant, and were ready to give them a try more often. Just not for jumping. Definitely not for jumping.
Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our video on sex positions for small penises:
Images: Andrew Zaeh/Bustle; BuzzFeedYellow/YouTube
