You start dating someone for a couple months, you make it official — things are looking up. Or are they? Not every relationship is always going to be a smash hit. Some relationships will quickly get off to a bad start, and you won't even quite know it got there. Maybe you two were right on course and then it quickly took a turn for the worst when you weren’t even looking. Not every relationship is going to be picture perfect. In fact, no partnership will ever be perfect. With that being said, the beginning of a relationship is probably going to be the most conflict-free time of all. It’s the honeymoon stage, the butterflies all around your stomach stage, the I can’t smiling ear to ear because I’m madly in love stage. So if you’ve found yourself crying instead of smiling in the beginning of dating someone, that’s a pretty big sign.
I’ve seen many couples for therapy before as a relationship expert and life coach, so I know the ups and downs of being with someone. However, there should be many ups in when you start dating someone, and not a whole lot of downs. Here are the signs your relationship is off to a bad start.
1. You Haven’t Met His Or Her Close Family Or Friends
If you feel like it's about time you've met his or her close family or friends, but he or she still isn't introducing you, it's OK to start to wonder about this. You should feel as if your partner can't wait to introduce you to his circle of people. It's one thing if it hasn't made sense for either of you to meet each other's parents or friends yet, but if you feel like your partner is deliberately trying to avoid it at all costs, then it might be time to reevaluate the relationship.
2. You’re On Different Relationship Wavelengths
If you're all about taking things slowly and your partner is all about saying "I love you" 20 times a day, you might be on different relationship wavelengths. Not everyone moves at the same speeds. So if you are a relationship turtle and you move slowly, it's crucial you find someone who values that. What you don't want is someone pressuring you to move faster than you feel more comfortable with. The same goes for someone who moves fast when it comes to love; if you feel as if your partner is holding back for too long, it's time to figure out whether you two can meet each other halfway, or call it quits.
3. The Honeymoon Stage Barely Lasted
The best part about the beginning of a relationship is the honeymoon stage. Therefore, it doesn't feel that great when you feel cheated out of one. If you and your partner are already arguing like you've been a couple for ten years, then imagine what it's like when you really are. The early stages of your relationship is supposed to be easy and fairytale-like. If it's not, there might not be a happily ever after.
4. You Don’t Trust Him Or Her
Trust is earned. So it's not easy to say that you should trust your partner right away. It's all so new, and you two are just getting to know each other. And if you've been cheated on in the past, it's even easier to distrust another lover. However, if your gut is telling you to not trust your current partner, it's doing so for a reason. You shouldn't be wanting to look through your significant other's phone or email during the first couple months of dating. Not to say that it's OK to do it ever, but it for sure shouldn't be occurring during the bliss period of your relationship.
5. You’ve Heard Negative Things
Actions don't always speak louder than words. If you start dating someone and all you hear from others are words of warning, it's best to listen up. If your new partner has a bad rap, it's OK to give that person a chance, but that doesn't mean you should go into this relationship without eyes wide open. People have pasts and sometimes they learn and grow from mistakes, but some people don't ever change — no matter how much you want them to, or how good of a partner you are. It's up to you to decide what kind of person you are with.
6. Sex Has Gone Down Hill
Mind-blowing sex is one of the many perks of starting a new relationship. So, if the sex between you two has already gone down hill as if you've been married for 25 years – it's not a great sign. The sex should be getting better as you two get to know each other, not getting worse.
The beginning of a relationship should be fun — that's the bottom line. If it's not, it's worth asking yourself if it's worth wasting your time or not.
Images: kate_sept2004/E+/Getty Images; Giphy (6)
