Entertainment
MTV Launches Summer Marathon of 'The Hills': 9 Moments That Made It the Best Show Ever
Set your DVRs -- MTV is launching RetroMTV Brunch with morning marathons of The Hills and Seasons 1 and 2 of Laguna Beach (because no one, not even MTV, enjoyed Season 3 of Laguna Beach.) While we loved ourselves some Laguna once upon a time, nothing beat the brilliance that was the spin-off series The Hills. Here are some things we're looking forward to re-watching during our morning sessions in front of the TV this summer.
The Tragic Saga That Was Jordan & Heidi
Not sure if I should feel bad for Jordan for not having the opportunity to cash in on all six seasons of The Hills or feel happy that he got out of Heidi's clutches while she was still relatively sane. Either way, Jordan and Heidi's tumultuous relationship dominated Season 1 of The Hills. Jordan accused Heidi of flirting with other dudes, Heidi accused Jordan of not respecting her, it was a total mess. Sadly, the couple was never meant to be and Heidi went on to date/marry/protect herself from the Mayan apocalypse with Spencer Pratt. But we'll never forget that we had a great time watching Heidi and Jordan bicker outside of nightclubs. If you're in the mood to get nostalgic over this relationship, please watch this brilliant fan video.
Lauren Conrad Being the World's Worst Intern
Let's all pretend that Lauren Conrad got an internship with Teen Vogue on her own accord and that it had nothing to do with the exposure from her stint on a reality show, okay? Because either way, Lauren became the worst intern ever. Like, seriously, everything on the "Do Not Do" list of an internship Lauren did in her first week. She let friends party at a Teen Vogue event (underage, but The Hills tended to ignore that all the time, so whatever) ditched work for her skeezy boyfriend Jason's party, and -- the kicker -- became known as The Girl Who Didn't Go to Paris (she lived in Jason's beach house for the summer instead.)
Justin Bobby, A Man So Great He Needed Two Names, Imparts His Wisdom
Justin Bobby (whose real name is Justin, but his friends call him Bobby, because reasons) was Audrina's on-again-off-again boyfriend who rode around on a motorcycle. When he spoke at all, it was often in bizarre cliches, such as this little gem: "Truth and time tell all." Uh, yeah, Justin, that's how truth works. But Lauren snapped some reality back into Audrina: "Homeboy wore combat boots to the beach, I know you don't want to call that your boyfriend." Can I get that on a t-shirt, please?
Spencer Pratt Ruining People's Lives
There was never any question that Spencer Pratt was a total nightmare, but some of his worst behavior can be seen on The Hills. After Heidi's co-worker tells her not to wear a bikini at work (fair! so fair!) Spencer flips out on the poor dude. (Someone needed to tell Heidi to keep her monkey on a leash in public.) But perhaps my favorite moment is when Spencer paints a white wall of his house with an enormous, horrible graffiti mural without Heidi's permission... because he "thought she wanted art". Tell me that this video doesn't prove that Heidi has some version of Pratt-induced Stockholm Syndrome, and I'll call you a liar.
Lo Being Cooler Than Reality TV
While everyone on The Hills kind of seemed like they were reading from a script (uh, because they were) Lo Bosworth always kept it totally legit. Her no bullshit approach to Lauren's life made her a great fill-in friend after Heidi flew the coop. Wisest words from Lo?: "Eat your Pinkberry and enjoy life".
The Sex Tape Rumors
Lauren began the series dating Jason Wahler, who she ended up breaking things off with when he went to rehab. After they broke up, Lauren got word that there was a sex tape of Jason and her floating around. Rumors got so bad that even her parents heard about it (though let's be honest, when you're on a reality show privacy should be kind of a non-issue). According to The Hills mythology, Spencer Pratt was the source of the rumor. He twirled his stupid little blond mustache and let the rumors swirl. Was this story inserted purely for drama's sake? Totally. Do we care? Not even a little bit.
Brody and Spencer's Bromance Breakup
It wasn't just Heidi and Lauren that called their friendship quits on The Hills. While there was always plenty of girl drama to go around, Pratt also fueled the fire by telling Brody that he had to choose between hanging out with him or hanging out with Lauren. When he refused to cut ties with Lauren, Spencer said bye to his bud ... and Lauren got to cuddle with Brody.
A True Hollywood Ending
So, was The Hills scripted all along? After a somehow-not-as-entertaining Season 6 with so-not-Lauren-Conrad Kristin Cavallari as the lead, we wanted to know how the show would end. So, how did our beloved show go out? With an ending that told us that the show was scripted the entire time. In fact, the last scene was even filmed on a Hollywood backlot. Super meta. No matter how scripted The Hills became, I still believe that Spencer Pratt is evil -- no one is that good of an actor.