While relationships have a learning curve, so does being newly single. Depending on how long your relationship lasted, that learning curve could be fairly minimal or feel somewhat life-altering. You’ve gone from one situation, the relationship, to a completely opposite situation, singlehood, and that can require some getting used to and practice. But in the best way possible.
Being newly single can be a really good thing. You suddenly have so much time and freedom, and there’s a long list of things that every newly single person should do. You’re not just doing these things to celebrate the fact that you’re entering another chapter of your life, but because you’re learning how to be you again and how to love being you, all on your own, again. You could do it before, so you can certainly do it now — and maybe even better this time.
So, as you move into this new, and very exciting part of your life, do so with an openness that you’re up for anything that comes your own. Don’t be afraid to discover things about yourself that you may not have known existed and just go with it.
Here are nine things you learn about yourself when you’re newly single.
1. You’re Probably Really Good At Doing Things Solo
After being in a relationship for awhile, you can forget just how awesome you are at doing things alone. For example, you can go to a restaurant solo and have a great time. You can go away for a week alone, anywhere you want, and chat it up with strangers. It’s in those newly single weeks and months that you realize you were good at being alone and you still are.
2. You Prefer ‘I’ To ‘We’
Remember when everything, was “we” this and “we” that? Once you shake that “we” habit from your vocabulary, you realize that “I” has a way better ring to it.
3. You Can Buy Your Own Flowers
Now before you think I’m making some comment in regards to gender stereotypes where men bring flowers to their female partners, I want to point out that this is a metaphor. Sure, if you love fresh flowers, we can use it literally, but it also means that you don’t need to wait for someone else to buy you gifts or spoil you. You can do that all on your own.
4. You Like Your Way Of Doing Things Best
Because relationships are about compromise, we always end up sacrificing a bit of ourselves when we’re with someone else. But it’s when you’re newly single that you realize your way of doing things, without the input of anyone else, is the best way to do things.
5. You’d Rather Be Single Than Settle
Even if you didn’t settle in your previous relationship, it’s when you’re newly single and recapping what about your relationship was great and what needed work that you realize what’s important to you. It forces you to prioritize and know you’re better off alone than wasting your time on something you’re not 110 percent into.
6. You Have Sh*t You Need To Get Done
As a newly single person myself, one of the first things that hit me — after I stopped crying — was that I had things to do! I had projects to work on, articles to pitch, a living room that needed a new wall color, and friends I needed to track down. While I could have done those things while I was in my relationship, it was when my relationship ended that I understood that there was no time like the present to get to all the things I’d been putting on hold.
7. You’re Capable Of Forgiveness
It’s going to take you awhile to get there, but eventually you will and you’ll surprise yourself. Yes, no matter how things ended, you are capable of forgiveness.
8. You’re A Better Person Thanks To Your Relationship
Experience makes us more whole. It gives us perspective, understanding, and a foundation for whatever next comes down the road. While you may not realize it right away, something very important that you’ll learn about yourself when you’re newly single is that you’re better and wiser because you took a risk, gave it a whirl, and came out the other side in one piece after the breakup.
9. You’re Awesome
I’m not suggesting that you didn’t already know this about yourself before you became newly single, but it is something that I think really rings true you’re single again. You're so awesome, and this chapter of your life is going to be awesome, too.
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