One of the more achievable goals in my life, in front of flossing every day and cutting out Doritos, is to always be watching some version of The Bachelor, so even though the finale of Ben Higgins' season is still on the horizon, I want to talk about which of his contestants should be on Bachelor in Paradise in the upcoming season. Because dude, you're hip to the amazingness that is BIP, right? It's roughly equal numbers of men and women from past Bachelor Nation shows, half the time, same amount of alcohol, and there's absolutely no point to it. Basically, you're supposed to try to get into a couple before each Rose Ceremony, so you don't go home, but there's no cash reward for making it to the end or anything. So basically, it just comes down to who you want to watch on the show all season, who has the most personality.
And, looking back on Ben's season, there are quite a few faces I'm hoping crop up, so that we can not only bring the drama, but also give some of these deserving ladies an actual shot at love. I know I can't be the only one seething about the way Jubilee was treated on "The Women Tell All" episode, being told that she was "complicated" as if there was something wrong with that. Nah nah nah, Chris Harrison, you've got it all wrong. Send our girl over to some beautiful tropical island full of men who won't make her apologize for being herself, where she belongs. And make sure she's joined by some combination of the following women, who would all be a blast and a half in Paradise.
1. Jubilee
Like I said, this is a no-brainer. Obviously I wish that Jubilee could be the next Bachelorette, because that would be my dream come true, but since Caila is looking like the likely choice, Bachelor In Paradise is the next best thing. Even if she doesn't find love, Jubilee takes crap from no one, and I would love to see her shut down some of these bullies the way she couldn't really when she was in the hot seat.
2. Lace
This one is already confirmed, bless the Lord, because Chris Harrison invited her on "The Women Tell All," and Lace accepted. Truly cannot wait for more of Lace; this woman is reality television at its best.
3. Olivia
Admit it, you love to hate Olivia, and she would make a big splash on BIP, whether it's shacking up with a like-minded gentleman right away or falling flat. She knows who she is and is unapologetic about it, and that's exactly the personality type that does best on whatever tropical isle they end up going with this year.
4. Jami
I get the feeling that Jami and the producers were both expecting Jami to be around longer for Ben's season, based on her backstory as Kaitlyn Bristowe's friend, and the amount that Jami was piping up during "The Women Tell All." I have a feeling she's looking for a little more time in the spotlight, and BIP would be the perfect antidote.
5. Amber
She's been there before without success, so why not give Amber another shot at love and Paradise this year? Also, the way Amber was teaming up with Jami to air their grievances against Jubilee would provide for quite the dynamic if all three were to show up. All I'm saying is think about it.
6. and 7. The Twins
Imagine if they had Emily and Haley switch back and forth as each other to see if anyone could tell the difference. I got a taste of this kind of twist on Big Brother 17 , and I liked it, I loved it, I want more of it. Let's add actual rules to Bachelor In Paradise 3 and see what happens.
8. Leah
Homegirl was seriously proving on "The Women Tell All" that she a) has no problem stirring the pot and b) has the balls to stand up for herself and others, so I'm ready to put those two traits to work in their natural environment.
9. JoJo
My money is on JoJo being the runner up and not the winner, so probably the best thing for her is to get shipped off to a tropical locale right away to be reminded that she's a beautiful, intelligent, interesting woman who will succeed romantically in pretty much any situation that isn't 28 women competing for one man.
I know there are supposed to be women and men from all different seasons squished together on Bachelor in Paradise, but when one season is as stacked with personalities as Ben Higgins' was, it's hard not to stock up solely from there. Now make it happen.
Images: NBC (9)
