I am so sick of hearing about demystifying the female orgasm. While I love anything that looks into what makes women orgasm, and I'm always up for hearing new female orgasm techniques, there's no need to talk about it like it's some kind of mystical, elusive thing that needs to be caught. It's not a freaking unicorn— it's a physical response. So what we need is frank, open discussion with real women about what makes them orgasm, about how to make orgasms better and stronger, and just generally experiment. And with OMGYes, we're finally getting that. Finally.
It's a site all about female pleasure, whose subscribers include Emma Watson, and includes videos and tutorials that allow you to learn and practice more orgasm techniques than you've ever heard of. It's overwhelming and amazing all at once. And where did those orgasm techniques come from? Real women. The site did in-depth interviews with over 1,000 women and then conducted a large-scale study about women’s pleasure with 1,000 more women in partnership with researchers at Indiana University’s School of Public Health and The Kinsey Institute. There's so much more nuance to female pleasure than "clitoral stimulation" or "penetration"— it can be so much more specific and subtler than that. OMGYes is giving us a way to share and explore those variations.
It's pretty incredible stuff. But as it's the first site of its kind, it can take a second to wrap your head around. Here's what you need to know:
1. There Are Touchable Videos
I was not expecting this. It's effing amazing. So basically, you get 50 short videos with women explaining what they like and the different orgasm techniques— already a wealth of info. But then you get 11 touchable videos which are so cool your brain might melt. By using thousands of photos of their own vaginas, they've come up with touchable vagina videos. You can use your fingers to plays with and stimulate the vulva in different ways— and it moves while you do it. Plus, the women have shared your personal preferences so you know how you're doing for them. You get actual feedback. It's trying to reach all types of learners, plus it's just really, really cool (and obviously super NSFW).
2. There Are More Ways To Play With Your Clit Than You Can Imagine
I thought that I knew what was what in terms of clit play, but my jaw was on the floor watching some of these. They go over 12 different orgasm techniques, from ones you've probably heard of— like edging— to ones you haven't (I don't know WTF orbiting is but it makes me feel like a sex astronaut and I love it).
3. It's Not Just For Beginners Or People Having Trouble Orgasming
Like I said, I thought I was pretty cliterate until I saw this site. I am sure anyone and everyone who has a clit or knows a clit would be fascinated with this. They explain: "OMGYES isn’t about the basics. It’s not a how-to guide. Most of the techniques and ways to intensify pleasure are things that had literally never been researched before. You’ll explore new things to try, new perspectives on things you already do, and just get more tools for your toolbox." There can never be too many.
4. This Is Only The Beginning
So this is the first season, but hopefully there's a lot more to come (PUN SO INTENDED). And they're going to be expanding into other areas. The site says that the "first season of 12 episodes is mostly about external stimulation — some have called it the Khan Academy of the Clit... In the future, we’re also planning to cover penetration techniques and angles, how pleasure changes after childbirth, and how pleasure changes after menopause."
5. It's Not Free... But It's Not Expensive Either
For the 12 episodes there's currently an early bird offer of $29, which, in my opinion, is totally worth it for the amount of content you get. As they note, funding bodies don't invest as much as we would like to research this area, so they have to charge if Season 2 is going to happen.
6. They Want To Create A New Rhetoric
And I am so on board with this. So, so, so on board. There just are not enough words to talk about female pleasure. Like I said, there's a lot more to it then "stimulate the clit" or "penetrate". The site explains:
One of the casualties of the taboo around women’s pleasure is that there aren’t words for the important ways touch can vary. There aren’t specific words for the kinds of detailed techniques that matter so much. There are vague, clinical words like stimulate and vague, pop-culture words like fingering and rubbing.
This lack of language makes it far harder to explore and find new things that work. Imagine trying a new recipe, but none of the ingredients or measurements have names. Or ordering from a menu but all of the dishes are called the same thing.
This is so true. When my friend was worried about having sex with a woman for the first time, I tried to explain techniques and I just ended up acting something out that looked like I was licking hot soup but also maybe playing a toy piano and screwing in a lightbulb. It was awful. We need more words.
7. It's For Everyone
It's not just for women. You can use it as a couple or on your own, and men who want to learn more can use it. Hell, I can imagine my friends all looking it together because we lost any sense of boundaries years ago — and you can give it as a gift. Basically anyone who has a vagina or has seen a vagina should give it a try. I wholeheartedly recommend.
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Images: Andrew Zaeh/Bustle; OMGYes; Giphy (6)