Life

10 Things To Do When You’re Newly Single

by Amanda Chatel

Although it may not seem like it at first, being newly single is a good thing. No matter why or how the relationship came to end, you’re suddenly in a new chapter of your life and it’s pretty exciting, albeit a bit scary, too. But you have to figure that you broke up for a reason, so there’s no sense in driving yourself mad with the past. The best thing you can do is move forward and start your life again.

There are a lot of great things about being newly single, one of which is having your time back. You no longer have to spread yourself between you and one other person, but get to focus on you and what you want. You actually get to wake up every day knowing that you will live that day for you and you alone. If that means staying in your PJs until 3 p.m. watching House of Cards or throwing yourself a party to celebrate your new single status, it’s all good. It’s all about you now and no one else.

So with all this time on your hands, besides binge-watching your favorite TV shows or throwing yourself epic parties, what else should you do? Here are 10 ideas that will make you really feel how wonderful it is to be single.

1. Get Out Of Town

Nothing can rejuvenate the soul like taking yourself out of the space you shared with your former partner and going someplace new. While I’m not suggesting you pack up and move permanently, a week or two away will do you good.

2. Find A Therapist You Love

If you’ve never been in therapy, it may be a great time to consider trying it out when you’re newly single. It’s really great to have an hour where you can talk out all your thoughts about your relationship without feeling like you’re driving anyone crazy. While your friends are a great sounding board for this, a therapist, whom you pay to listen to your problems, is less likely to get annoyed because it’s their job to listen.

3. Reinvent Your Look

As you enter a new chapter in your life, it's a great time for a new look if there's one you've been dying to try. There’s no time like post-breakup to reinvent yourself. Whether that means chopping your lovely locks, getting a new tattoo, or getting that septum ring that you always knew you could rock perfectly, do it. It will give your confidence a boost.

4. Surround Yourself With Friends

Your friends and family are the people you need most after a breakup. In continuously surrounding yourself with loved ones it will give you little time to wallow and wonder where things went wrong in your relationship. Because that’s the case, you want to keep your social calendar full of events.

5. Give Your Apartment A New Look

Paint it! Move your bed so it’s against another wall! Take everything that was on the left side and put it on the right side! Buy new plates! Reorganize your closet! Change it, because change is good and wonderful and will make you feel new and shiny!

6. Take A Class To Get Yourself Moving

If you’re prone to depressive episodes, then you want to get in front of them and stop them from flaring up after a breakup. Studies have found that exercising your brain and body can help with depression, so this is the best time to take a class of some sort. A dance class will get your body moving and a cooking class will get your brain exercising, because cooking is actually more complicated than it seems.

7. Do Something That Scares You

If you really want to feel the rush of being alive, then do something that scares the hell out of you. It can be skydiving, trapeze, or even learning a new language is that’s something you qualify as scary. Just give your life a little shake as a means of celebrating the new awesome single you.

8. Go Sex Toy Shopping

Because you may not be ready to jump back into bed with someone right away, then you need to treat yourself to some fun sex toys. Sure, your favorite vibrator always does the trick, but maybe there’s a new vibrator out there, one you’ve never even heard of, that will totally blow your mind!

9. Start A New Project

You know why so many great works of art follow a breakup? Because you have two things on your side: Time and experience. There’s a reason why Adele’s album 19 did so well and why Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat Pray Love became a New York Times bestseller — because you’re in prime shape for a project when you’re newly single.

10. Relish In What You Have

In addition to all the running around you’re doing enjoying your newly single life, don’t forget to take stock in what you have and don’t have. As the French writer Colette wrote, “I love my past, I love my present. I am not ashamed of what I have had, and I am not sad because I no longer have it" — it's true. This is a positive way to look at your newly single life, without any regret, minimal sorrow, and your eyes on the future.

Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our new podcast, I Want It That Way, which delves into the difficult and downright dirty parts of a relationship, and find more on our Soundcloud page.

Images: Fotolia; Giphy(6)