Even if your partner doesn’t want to talk about it, premature ejaculation is common. Men, of all ages, can find themselves in the throes of passion when all of a sudden things start speeding up, and it’s over before it really even began. It can feel embarrassing for any guy and make for an awkward moment, but I can’t stress enough how common it actually is, so there’s no need to freak out.
According to Dr. Kristen Mark, the behavioral health scientist and sex and relationships researcher behind the "Penis Perception Survey," 90 percent of the 14,408 respondents agree that ejaculation control is paramount. For those who experience premature ejaculation, 64.2 percent said it causes frustration for both partners 25 to 100 percent of the time. But where the stats get even more distressing is the fact that 79.6 percent of those surveyed felt that premature ejaculation can negatively impact their partner’s opinion of them, while almost 50 percent reported that PE impacts their self-esteem either “quite a bit or very much.” Basically, it can really put a damper on not just one’s sex life, but how they view themselves even when they’re out of the bedroom.
Although therapy and prescribed medication can help, choosing the right position can also play a key role in helping your partner last longer in bed. Here are the two positions that will help with PE and the one position you should avoid like the plague if your partner is suffering from premature ejaculation.
Woman On Top
How to do it: Well, they don’t call it “woman on top,” for nothing! However, if this position is new to you, you just basically want to get on your partner and straddle them. You can either sit up right, if that works for you, or lean forward and put the weight of your body in your arms. From here, you want to move your hips in a way that feels best for both you and your partner. Some prefer more of an in/out movement, while others opt for a circling gyration. Try both and see which one is the best fit.
Why it works: You’re in complete control, for starters. What this means is that you get to decide when your partner can climax. If it looks like they're getting close, you can lean forward even more and the penetration becomes less deep, therefore holding your partner off a bit longer.
Side By Side
How to do it: While lying down, facing each other, you want to wrap your top leg around their waist. From here, you can guide their penis into your vagina. Although it sounds straightforward, it will definitely require a bit of maneuvering of your hips on both your parts to get their penis in there. But once they're in, you’re good to go. At this point it’s just a matter of pulling them in closer, while moving your hips in such a way that their penis has space to move in and out.
Why it works: As you’ll find once you finagle your way into this position, penetration isn’t very deep. But wait — that’s a good thing when it comes to making sex last longer! You want that shallow penetration so you have more time to enjoy each other and the act of sex. You’re also both controlling the situation and, being face-to-face, you can communicate about what feels good and what feels too good, so you slow down any PE.
But You May Want To Avoid Doggy Style
How to do it: Getting into doggy style is easy as pie. Just get on your hands and knees, and have your partner enter you from behind, and voila! You’re in doggy style.
Why it doesn’t work: Doggy style is amazing in many ways. It’s a great position to hit the G-spot. However, it’s in this position that your partner has the control, which is one of the major reasons guys love doggy style. Even if you’re pushing yourself against them, your partner still has all the leverage, the power, and is basically manning the ship. (I’m not calling you a ship, but you know what I mean.)
What all these factors culminate to is a perfect storm in which your partner is going to climax SO fast. If they're already dealing with premature ejaculation and you get into that position, you might as well figure the game is already over. This isn’t a bad thing, because quickies can be awesome. But if you and your partner are looking for ways in which they can last as long as possible, you definitely want to skip this one.
Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our video on sex positions to make him last longer:
Images: Andrew Zaeh/Bustle; Caroline Wurtzel/Bustle
