There a lot of things we may associate with sex or things that we think of as "sexy", but in reality a whole lot of them should really not be used during sex. They're just not safe, not healthy, or even have the potential to mess with your method of birth control. For some reason, feeding fruit to each other is considered sexy, even though when I've tried, it has just led to me choking on a piece of mango while my partner debates whether to call 911 or just let Darwinism run its course. And, if you've ever watched me eat edible underwear just as a snack, you could argue that in some hands, they're not really that sexy either.
Some of these not-so-sexy things are pretty obvious — like fire. You might like having the flames of candles flickering about, but you're not going to put that fire anywhere near your body, right? OK, well we need to apply the same principle to some other "sexy" things— just because you want them around you, doesn't mean you want them all over you. And you definitely don't want them in you.
Here are some "sexy things" you should probably avoid using during sex:
1. Hot Wax
Does this one really need an explanation? Yes, you've probably seen someone dripping hot wax on someone else in a film and it looked sexy and they all had perfect hair and hurt in a "oh, but it's so good" sort of way. Well, one wrong step with that wax and it's going to hurt in a "GODDAMMIT! IT HURTS!" sort of way. Be careful with that sh*t.
2. Oil
Great for massages, bad for sex. Bad to get anywhere near sex if you're using latex condoms. I know that it seems sex and cool to have a rubdown that gets out of hand, but if oil or any oil-based lubricant gets anywhere near your condom it can damage it. Oil eats away at the condom and makes it less effective and more likely to rip, so be careful. If you've got it on your hands on your body, being near a condom is not a good idea.
3. Random Feathers
Keep them for tickling above the belt, or at least away from your vagina. Imagine getting those tiny little bits of feather fluff up there— do you really think that you're going to be able to get it out?
4. Chocolate And Whipped Cream
CHOCOLATE IS FOR EATING. Not for wasting. There's edible body spreads and whipped cream can be fun and playful, but be careful. Dr. Raquel Dardik explains to Self: “All that stuff has sugar which will change the bacteria and yeast proportions which can cause infections. Those substances can also be irritating to the vaginal skin, so it might seem like a good idea at the time, but you may have either vaginal irritation or a vaginal infection afterwards." Neither of those are worth acting out your favorite teen movie over.
5. Fruit And Veggies
I don't know what is supposed to be sexy about this, but apparently it's a thing people do. If you ever caught yourself eyeing up a cucumber in the produce aisle, time to think again. Dr. Mary Jane Minkin says you'll "introduce the microbes to your private parts, and you’ll upset the normal balance of bacteria in the vagina, potentially triggering a bacterial or yeast infection". Not worth it. Stick to real sex toys and be sure to clean regularly.
6. Jacuzzis And Water
This is one that I totally didn't realize. I've always thought of having sex under water as fun, albeit kind of impossible. But Dr. Emily Morse, a sex expert, tells YourTango: "These man-made recreational bodies of water are always chlorinated, and chlorine may disrupt the natural pH balance in the vagina. Lakes, ponds, rivers, streams, and all natural bodies of water are host to a whole gang of microbes and bacteria that can be harmful to the vagina. Sex in these bodies of water can force this bacteria into the vagina, leaving it vulnerable to bacterial infections, irritation, etc." Yuck. I will save the pools for making out, thank you very much.
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