Being single is fairly easy in the sense that you only have to worry about yourself. Being in a relationship with another person, however, isn’t always a piece of cake, but it can be so worth it if both partners put in work. But how do you know when you are ready to be in a committed monogamous relationship? If being in a relationship is your thing, and monogamy is your thing as well, it can still be hard to know (especially after a breakup or a long period of being single and loving it) if you're ready for a new serious partner. Anybody can be in a relationship, but to be in one that is loving, healthy, and positive is another story.
There are a lot of things to consider before putting yourself out there in the world of love. Having a background in Counseling Psychology and matchmaking, I know a thing or two about committed partnerships. If you’re not fully ready for a long-lasting relationship, then you won’t have a steady foundation. Whether you need time to work on yourself, or you’re still going back and forth with an ex, it’s not fair to begin a relationship when you don't feel confident that it will be a healthy one for both partners involved. Being in a partnership can be lovely, but it also involves a lot of work and effort. Being able to vulnerable and open is crucial when it comes to being in love — so if you can’t offer that to someone else just yet, you might need to be single for a little longer. Here are some signs that you are indeed ready to be in a relationship.
1. You Are Happy With Yourself
Being happy with a partner is dependent on whether or not you are happy with yourself first. You won't be able to give the proper attention to a relationship if you haven’t given it to yourself first. I’m not saying you have to be perfect (because there is no such thing), but you should be at a point where you fully love and honor yourself, before you love and honor another.
2. You Know What Kind Of Person You Are Looking For
Settling often occurs when a person doesn’t know his or her worth (this ties into number one, as well). Before you start looking for love, it’s imperative that you know what kind of person you are looking for. You don't necessarily have to have a "type" or make sure that someone is ticking every single box, but there are some questions you should know the answers too before you start looking for a partner: What are the qualities that are important to you? You should have a list of five crucial personality traits that would make an ideal partner and start from there.
3. You Aren’t Stalking Your Exes
If you are constantly checking who’s liking your ex’s Instagram pics, then you probably aren’t ready to get all relationship-y with another person. Most people have an ex, but not everyone is up-to-date on his or her latest social media actions. If your ex is way in the back of your memory rather than the first thing you think about every day, then you are fully ready to enter into a new relationship. If not, time truly does heal all wounds.
4. You’ve Worked Through Your Baggage
You’re not human if you don’t have some baggage. With that being said, not all baggage is created equal. In order for you to be ready to date, you need to check your baggage and make sure it allows for another person to enter into your life. If you’ve got too much fluff in your life and can’t give another person your time and attention, you might need to hold off. However, if you have worked through your own sh*t, then you are ready for some real intimacy.
5. You Can Make Love A Priority
When you want to create a loving and healthy relationship, you have to be able to make love a priority. Often times we get caught up in life and don't have time to focus on a SO. Whether it’s a career that has your undivided attention or you're more interested in hanging out with friends 24/7 than nurturing a relationship, romance isn’t always going to be number one on your list. Wait until you can give a relationship the time and dedication it deserves. Trust me, it will make it so much better in the long run.
6. You’re Not Afraid Of Being Single
You are fully ready to be in a relationship when being “alone” doesn’t scare you. Some people start dating someone not because they have butterflies when they're with them, but because they simply don’t want to be alone. There is nothing wrong with being single at all. In fact, I suggest having a time in life when you just appreciate the joys of being one with yourself and what being single has to offer. The more you love being single means the more you are fulfilling your own needs and desires. You are on the road to being mentally ready for a new relationship whenever the opportunity presents itself.
Everyone is on a different path, and timing is everything. Give yourself a little breathing room and allow yourself to find your own path to real true love.
