From the minute the Puppy Bowl kicked off in the afternoon, Super Bowl Sunday was a non-stop barrage of stuff to look at, from Coldplay's elaborate halftime show to the pre- and post-show commentary, to the actual football game. But sadly for the Broncos, the true winner of the NFL Championship game is always and will always be the commercials. Brands that can afford the hefty price tag of Super Bowl airtime spent the entire year planning the campaign they’d roll out during the broadcast. 114.4 million people watched the game in 2015; that was a new viewership record and enough to increase the cost of airtime by a staggering 11%. To have had a commercial air on CBS during the game last night, companies had to lay out a cool $4.5 million for every 2016 Super Bowl commercial (a.k.a. a 30 second spot). As usual, the crop of ads that ran during the game featured high concepts, heartwarming themes, or big stars like Ryan Reynolds, Helen Mirren, and Christopher Walken. Worried that you missed a few? I’ve got you covered.
Everyone has to peel their eyes away from the TV some time, if just to grab another beer or...relieve a bodily urge. And if you’re concerned you might have missed the spot that everyone is going to be talking about at work, well, that’s why the internet exists. Keep scrolling to watch every single new commercial from Super Bowl 2016.
Budweiser
The forever elegant Helen Mirren drops some knowledge on would-be drunk drivers. You wouldn't dare disappoint the queen, would you?
Avocados From Mexico
Who knew avocados needed publicity? Well done on the dress meme reference, though.
Honda Ridgeline
Singing animals. A full-proof Super Bowl commercial strategy.
Kia Optima
You may have known fear. But have you known the fear of finding uber-intense actor Christopher Walken in your closet?
Pokémon
Pokémon is 20 years old, and I am 300.
Shock Top
Deadpool actor TJ Miller goes head to tap in an insult competition with the Shock Top mascot.
Snickers
Nice gams, Willem Dafoe.
Quicken Loans
Not the usual flash and flare, but Quicken Loans is banking on American's being psyched about making getting a mortgage as easy as ordering something from Amazon.
Adobe Marketing Cloud
I mean, sure?
Skittles
Skittles are known for their wack-a-doo ads, so Steven Tyler is a perfect spokesman match.
T-Mobile
Just when you thought the "Hotline Bling" memes were over, Drake goes and parodies it himself.
LG
No one does classy-and-vaguely-threatening mystery man like Taken actor Liam Neeson.
Hyundai Elantra
Brb, moving to Ryanville immediately.
AXE
Who would have ever thought that AXE, the fragrance for bros, would ever feature a man in 5-inch heels in one of its commercials? At the Super Bowl, no less? You win this time, AXE.
NFL
The NFL put together a chorus of children whose parents claim they were conceived on Super Bowl night. Because guacamole breath is an aphrodisiac.
MINI USA
The Mini combats its weaknesses by facing them head on. Let it be a lesson to us all.
Hyundai Genesis
Kevin Hart plays the overprotective dad in a clip that plays to outdated concepts of gender. Yawn.
Acura NSX
The luxury car manufacturer lets design speak for itself in this sparse ad.
Hyundai Elantra - The Chase
More talking animals. These ones are vegan.
Audi R8
It's too soon for the David Bowie references! Too soon!
Colgate
The toothpaste company makes the case for turning off the faucet and saving water in this heart-tugging commercial.
Heinz
"Hot dogs" frolic in a field. This is what life is all about.
Death Wish Coffee
Small businesses are usually priced out of Super Bowl airtime, but this coffee company won its pirate-themed spot through a contest from Intuit QuickBooks.
Amazon Echo
Alec Baldwin does the same thing he used to do for Capital One.
But did Capital One have Missy Elliott? I don't think so.
Apartments.com
Possibly my favorite of the bunch? Jeff Goldblum should always be singing on my television.
Victoria's Secret
The Angels are such stars that they can promote a lingerie line while fully clothed in pads and football pants.
SunTrust
I'm trying to drink beer and watch football, and here comes SunTrust reminding me of my financial responsibilities.
Pantene
Call your dad. Call your dad right now.
KFC
Jim Gaffigan is your new Colonel Sanders! Too bad every comic who plays him looks identical in the mascot's signature suit and goatee.
Beats By Dre
Future narrates this spot starring Panthers quarterback Cam Newton, but I can't hear anything over that glistening torso.
Captain America: Civil War
"United we stand! Divided we fall!" You hear that, Avengers? Now kiss and make-up.
Mobile Strike
Cell phone games are lucrative enough to purchase Super Bowl ad space. Quick, invest in cell phone games.
Deadpool
Marvel's R-rated anti-hero pokes fun at professional football; professional football fans eat it up.
10 Cloverfield Lane
It's a new spot for the surprise sequel to the 2008 J.J. Abrams' Godzilla homage, Cloverfield. And it's still not revealing much.
Hyundai
In which humans all have little Iron Man arc reactors in their chests. Tony Stark is calling his lawyers right now.
The Jungle Book
The Super Bowl ad for the new animated/live-action remake of Disney classic The Jungle Book woos with more footage of Bill Murray's Baloo.
Mountain Dew Kick Start
Puppymonkeybaby is the Left Shark of 2016.
Taco Bell
It's a meme extravaganza in the commercial for Taco Bell's newest cheesy, crunchy creation.
Marmot
I'm uncomfortable.
Squarespace
Make a series out of this, Key & Peele. I'd watch it.
Jason Bourne
Matt Damon is back as Bourne and as far as I'm concerned, that's where he belongs.
Buick Cascada
Thanks for reinforcing the tired stereotype that all women are wedding vultures.
Bud Light
Seth Rogen and Amy Schumer have my vote for any office they want.
And Ronda Rousey could replace the entire Secret Service herself.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out Of The Shadows
There's another one? *pops in my VHS copy of the '90s originals*
Coca-Cola
Mark Ruffalo was too busy doing the awards circuit with Spotlight, I guess.
Independence Day: Resurgence
The Independence Day reboot goes meta with a Super Bowl-themed ad.
TurboTax
How do you say no to Inside The Actors Studio host James Lipton? You don't.
Bai
Bai can make all your dreams come true, apparently. I'd settle for a tasty, refreshing beverage, but okay.
Toyota Prius
Like the Mini commercial, this Prius ad wants viewers to forget their concept of what that car can be.
X-Men: Apocalypse
Fittingly, the newest spot for the next installment of the X-Men franchise is soundtracked by a haunting cover of "Don't Panic," originally by halftime headliners Coldplay.
Fitbit Blaze
Fitbit gets into the smart watch game, and these people are way more fit than you or I will ever be.
Wix.com
Do pandas even need websites? Isn't that one of the perks of being a panda?
The Secret Life Of Pets
I would absolutely take a kid relative to see this if they asked.
Esurance
Esurance wants to give you money again this year! I'd trade it in for a hug from spokeperson John Krasinski though.
Turkish Airlines
The cross-promotion is real in these commercials from Batman v Superman sponsor Turkish Airlines. How many people will try to book their tickets for Metropolis and Gotham tonight, do you think?
Beyonce Formation Tour
Everybody be cool, it is happening.
Some were entertaining, some were boring, and others were practically indescribable. This year's crop of Super Bowl commercials will definitely have people talking come Monday morning.
Schick Hydro
Do boys really pretend their razors are robots? Is this an extension of a childhood bath tub toy thing?
Budweiser
This beer is very manly. Bold letters! People hauling things! Craft beers are for suckers!
Michelob
It's that person you never want to sit next to in yoga because every breath is like, a big deal. I get it, you can breathe.
Butterfinger
Billy Eichner!
Doritos
Catch me eating Doritos at my own ultrasound.
If the animals in a commercial aren't going to talk or sing, dressing them in a trench coat will do fine.
Jublia
Because everyone wants to talk about toenail fungus while dipping chips in cheese.
T-Mobile
Everyone saw this coming, am I right?
NFL & No More
The NFL and the domestic violence awareness organization team up to deliver a powerful message about being vigilant about the signs of physical and sexual assault.
Image: T-Mobile
