When you have a best friend, life can be an easier journey. You’ve got someone on your side who has your back and knows every part about you. A solid friendship makes you a better person. Having a true best friend is like no other experience; it’s different and unique from a romantic relationship, and can be just as special, if not more so. That’s why it is important to make sure that the one you call your “best friend forever” is worthy of the title. It's hard to recognize when you've got a toxic friend. Similar to romantic relationships, we can often overlook some of the bad qualities in another person. However, when these personality traits start to affect that friendship and/or your self-esteem, there’s something bigger at hand.
It’s not always easy to take a hard look at your friendship and realize it’s not exactly benefiting you. Having a background in Counseling Psychology, I've seen how friendships can be healthy while others can be quite toxic. A real friend lifts you up when times are hard and is there to make you a better and happier person. Sure, there will be times of miscommunication, and moments you don’t always agree and get on each other’s nerves. But, at the end of the day, they are still loving and kind to you. There are certain things that a true friend would never say to you if he or she had your best interest at heart. So, if you hear your “friend” say these things to you, you might want to truly examine this friendship.
1. Rude Comments About Your Appearance
No true friend would ever put you down when it comes to your appearance. If you’ve got a friend that is saying rude comments about the way you look, you need to take another look at this friendship. It’s one thing if you ask for advice about an outfit you want to wear and your bestie gives you the honest truth, and it’s another when he or she is making jokes at your expense.
2. "I Don’t Think You Should Eat That"
You don’t need a friend telling you what you and should and shouldn’t eat. A true friend will support your decisions, and trust that you know what's best for you. If you have someone in your life making you feel guilty or bad for what you put in your mouth, then I’ve got news for you — that’s not a good friend.
3. Secrets About Another Friend
Secrets don’t make friends, and telling someone's secrets is even worse. If your BFF is spilling the beans when it comes to his or her other friends' secrets, there’s going to be a lot of mess to clean up. A true friend doesn’t tell your secrets, no matter how big or how small. If you know they are sharing other friend’s secrets, you know they are probably sharing yours too.
4. Any Discouraging Words
A best friend is the one telling you that you can do anything your heart desires, even if nobody else believes in you. A bad friend is someone who discourages you from your dreams. Even if my bestie wanted to become an actress, I would be her biggest fan and supporter. If you feel as if your friend pulls you down instead of lifting you up, it’s probably time to let go of that friendship.
5. “He’s/She’s Too Good For You”
If your so-called “friend” tells you that a guy or girl you're interested in is “too good for you," then you’re too good for your friend. Heck, I tell my BFF that her and Ryan Gosling would make a perfect couple. Nobody should ever make you feel like you’re not good enough for someone else.
6. “I Think I Am Going To Go For Your Ex”
If you have a friend that is going to go for one of your exes, you better make this friend and ex-friend real soon. A genuine friend wouldn’t even look twice at an ex of yours. If your friend is looking at someone you used to date, it better be a side-eye.
7. Derogatory Names
Nobody should be calling you names, let alone a good friend. If your friend is calling you names to your face, imagine what he or she is calling you behind your back. So, the next time a “friend” of yours calls you a name, you should call them an Uber and say goodbye.
Having a best friend should always be a positive experience. Any relationship requires work, but if a friend causes more stress in your life than happiness, it's time to reevaluate the friendship.
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