If Trump Were To Debate Trump

Donald Trump skipped the last Republican GOP debate because he couldn't handle answering questions from Fox News moderator Megyn Kelly. So, your favorite late-night show host, Stephen Colbert had a great idea: to create his own debate, in which it was Trump versus Trump. Serving as the moderator, Stephen Colbert hosted an "all-Trump" debate. It sounds weird at first, until you realize that Trump kind of has a history of expressing completely contradictory views. As Colbert perfectly put it, "Right out of the gate, there's a strong difference of opinion between... our one candidate."

Using interview clips from years past, Colbert posed a series of questions to "Trump" and "Donald," which he affectionately gave the celebrity name of "Dump." (YES.) Colbert asked everything from Trump's opinions on fellow candidates to who would be in his cabinet if elected president. Each question showed Trump's competing answers: The first clip usually featured Trump saying something positive (I know, SHOCKING) and the second clip showed Trump in true form using words like "nasty" and "the worst." Today, many of us know Trump as a sexist candidate who renounces the idea of political correctness. However, this video from Colbert shows that there once existed a Trump who was actually kind of nice. These are the best segments from Colbert's Trump vs. Trump debate:

On Ted Cruz

Trump must be feeling the pressure from fellow Republican presidential candidate Ted Cruz. Although he claimed he liked Cruz in a December 2015 speech, Colbert showed a more accurate side of Trump. In a clip from Jan. 17, 2016, Trump resorted to his usual bullying antics when he professed that literally no one likes Ted Cruz:

He's a nasty guy; Nobody like hims, nobody in Congress likes him, nobody likes him anywhere once they get to know him.

Geez, do I sure feel confident in electing someone who speaks so negatively about others. #DumpTheTrump, anyone?

The People Of Iowa

You'd think that Trump would be smarter about word choice when he's on national television, especially when talking about an entire state. But leave it to The Donald to ensure there is literally zero political correctness in his conversations. In one clip, Colbert highlights an interview when Trump claims: "I love Iowa, we've done very well here." In the clip immediately afterwards, Colbert reveals how Trump really feels about the state when the GOP front-runner says, "How stupid are the people of Iowa?" Seems like a solid strategy for the state where a pretty important caucus is happening in the beginning of February.

On Hillary Clinton's Foreign Policy Experience

After he boycotted the recent Fox News debate because Megyn Kelley was a moderator, Trump made it clear he can't handle going up against strong, independent, blonde women. This time, however, he shows his disdain for Hillary Clinton and her foreign policy experience. Back in May 2010, Trump said he thought Clinton is a terrific woman and that she had done a great job, which directly contradicted his interview in July 2015 in which he attacked Clinton:

Hillary Clinton was the worst secretary of state in the history of the United States.

Megyn Kelly Vs. Trump As Moderator

Probably the best part of this video comes when Colbert says he has a question "from a Megyn K. in 2011." A clip from a 2011 interview between Megyn Kelly and Trump shows Kelly asking him if he really thinks he would be a better moderator than she is. His answer is shocking:

No, I could never beat you. That wouldn't even be close. That would be no contest. You have done a great job by the way, and I mean it.

Talk about The Donald in rare form, aka when he was actually a decent human being to other people, especiallyto Megyn Kelly. But don't be fooled: his scowl and demeaning comments from the 2016 clip above show his true (hideous) colors.

On Just Being Plain Creepy

Remember that time Donald Trump — you know, the leading Republican candidate to become president of the United States — objectified women and focused on their looks? Oh, right, there have been so many instances of Trump being sexist that you can't remember. Well, Colbert showed a clip from 2006 in which Trump makes a really, really creepy comment about his daughter, Ivanka:

If Ivanka weren't my daughter, perhaps I'd be dating her.

Yikes. And this man is supposed to Make America Great Again? I just can't.

Images: The Late Show; Giphy (4)