Life

Things You Shouldn't Hide From Your Partner

by Sara Martinez

Being in a loving and healthy relationship means being able to talk about everything. And I mean everything — the good, the bad and the not so pretty. There are going to be things that need to be discussed in a relationship at some point. One of the perks of having a romantic partner is that person knows everything about you, and they love even more for it. You don’t need to hide any part of yourself and you can just be you. With that being said, not every conversation you two have will be easy. You will most likely have hard discussions that make you very uncomfortable and uneasy. Certain conversations should be had no matter how awkward you two feel. You both need to be able to express yourselves fully in order to grow and bond. This brings me to my main point — somewhere along the way you will need to show your weird side. And trust me, everybody has one and that’s a good thing.

Waving your weird flag high and proud is important in a relationship. If you can’t be a weirdo with your other half, where’s the fun? There will be times you two will have to talk about weird issues or topics that might make you blush. So, if you find yourself avoiding these “weird” conversations, then you might want to try to open up some more and let your unique side shine. Being a relationship expert and practicing therapy with couples has helped me see how crucial communication is, no matter the topic. Here are seven “weird" things you should be able to talk to your partner about.

1. Bodily Functions

There comes a time in every relationship when you have to talk about the real serious issues… and that sometimes includes bodily functions. Sure, in the beginning you don’t necessarily want to fart in front of your lover or talk about how heavy your flow is. But, you can only hold in those farts and burps for so long. Heck, my boyfriend probably knows way too much about my cycle by now. If you have to hide the fact that your body has normal functions (because heaven forbid your other half realizes you’re human), then you’re hiding a part of yourself. The perk is having someone love you unconditionally is having someone love you, stinky farts and all.

2. Family Drama

No matter how “normal” your family is, there will always be a little Jerry Springer in every family tree. I’m pretty sure everybody has a crazy uncle or aunt, and that one cousin who always wants to talk politics at Thanksgiving. You other half is not only going to get to know you, but he or she will also learn to love your kooky family. Therefore, you should be able to tell your partner all the wild family stories from your past.

3. Sexual Fantasies & Desires

Some like it hot, while some like really hot. If you like to get a little freaky in the bedroom, by all means go and do it. You shouldn’t have to hide your sexual fantasies with your partner. No matter what you're into, don't be afraid to speak up. I’m not saying your mate will be 100 percent into your desires, but at least you are being fully open with your sexual fantasies. If you don’t knock on that door, you’ll never know what it could lead to.

4. Embarrassing Moments

If you don’t have an embarrassing moment where you peed your pants by accident or where you had a booger sticking out of your noise while giving a presentation in class, then you truly haven’t lived life to the fullest. You should be able to share these humiliating, yet endearing stories with your partner and he or she should love you even more for them.

5. Ex Stuff

There are some things that are better left unsaid, and that’s usually how I feel about talking about your ex. However, sometimes the past is affecting the present and it needs to be addressed. Let’s say for instance that your ex is texting you inappropriately — that might be something you will want to bring to your partner’s attention. Maybe you were cheated on in the past and now it’s hard for you to trust someone fully again, you will want to share these feelings with your boyfriend or girlfriend. As awkward as the ex talk can be, these conversations should be had.

6. Unique Quirks

Listen, we all have some weird little quirk that we're afraid to reveal to the world, or at least to our romantic partners. Maybe it’s a condiment that you secretly eat by itself when you’re alone. Hey, any sour cream fans out there? Or maybe you can’t help but let a little toot out when you laugh really hard. These unusual and unique qualities should be shared with your partner, not hidden.

There you have it. If you aren't sharing these things about yourself with your partner on purpose, you may want to tap into why it's difficult to open up.

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